Fear of Commitment

The Fear of Commitment raises its ugly head in so many different areas of life. In our personal relationships, business ventures, or lifestyle goals, we all face fears that tell us not to move forward. We struggle to take risks, and we become fearful about committing to a course of action.

Fear of Commitment keeps us stuck at the level where we are today. It stops us from taking the action we need to grow, to move forward, develop, and reach new horizons in our life.

When faced with risks of a new venture, our minds start overanalyzing. We start to question ourselves.

“Am I sure I want to do this?”

?“I can’t do this, I don’t have time.”

“What if something bad happens?”

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

“What if I fail?”

When these thoughts start crowding your mind, you are no longer living in the present moment. Instead, you’re far in the future, in an imaginary world of failure and regret. You’re creating your own anxiety and overwhelm—and these problems haven’t even occurred yet!

Anxious, fearful thoughts about the future are called limiting beliefs. They tell you that you are not capable of doing what you set out to do.

You say to yourself, “I’ll do it next week, when I feel more prepared.” But a year or two go by and you’re still stuck at the exact same place you were before. You get bored with being stuck at the same level, and wish you had gone ahead and pursued your dreams.

If you’re struggling to commit yourself to a new venture or risk, consider these practical tips:

Just do it. You may never feel ready for this next step. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. You probably didn’t feel ready for the birth of your first baby. But once you did it, you gained the competency you needed. Most likely, you felt more prepared for baby number two. Once you show up and start doing the things you need to do, you realize you are capable. Then you feel competent about doing bigger and better things.

Honor the struggle. In our culture, we are accustomed to instant gratification. We can do almost anything instantly through our phones. We forget that we need to honor the struggle. Real growth takes time. Be realistic when you make those commitments. Don’t give up on your weight goals just because you didn’t lose weight the first week you exercised. Don’t assume you’re a failure just because success didn’t come instantly. Remember, most overnight success stories are 15 years in the making!

Have an emotional investment in the end goal. If you don’t truly care about the goal, chances are you will give up when the road gets tough. You may say you want to lose weight, but if you haven’t taken time to invest your emotions in the end goal, you won’t continue when exercising gets hard. Take time to list the reasons this purpose will benefit you. For instance, once you meet your health goal, you’ll have more energy, more confidence, and will feel better.

Reach out to your community for support. Admit your fears and allow people to support you. People love to help and contribute. Speak your expectations and desires for support to the people in your community, and see what type of support they are comfortable offering. When others are empowered to help you, you’ll gain a sense of confidence: “I’m okay, they've got me. I can do this.” Even more importantly, you’ll feel that you’ve got yourself as confidence can build when we feel we have others cheering for us.

Remember, there is a way out. Often, we tell ourselves that if we make a certain commitment, we’ll be stuck in it for life. In reality, there are very few situations you can’t change your mind and pivot out of. Just because you commit to it now doesn’t mean you can’t negotiate what this commitment looks like in the future. Nine out of ten times, there’s a way out. Commitments aren’t going to define your life forever. You can give it a try and see how it works out.

With community around you, you’ll know that you’re supported. As you honor the struggle, you’ll be patient with yourself as you make progress. And as you jump in, you understand that you can pivot at any time. As you follow these steps, you’ll excel in achieving your goals.

If it interests you, join our CEO 2.0 Masterclass: 3 Simple Tools You Need For An Unshakeable Leadership Mindset Masterclass that’s coming up on July 26th, 2021!

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