The fear of not being good enough.

Hello!

It’s me again and this time I am talking all about fear!

Whose story is this?

' What if I'm not good enough? '

?That is a fear that is engrained in every one of us, even those of us who are confident and have high self-esteem. ?

It's engrained because the feeling is 'if I'm not good enough' I'll be chucked out of the group, the tribe and I'll be alone and essentially probably die.?

?I mean, obvs this isn't what we think but our subconscious is trying to keep us alive and so is constantly on the lookout for cracks that occur, that may mean we will die.?

You ARE enough. ?

?You are enough even with all your flaws and regrets and mistakes and even the time you did that thing that haunts you in the early hours in the morning sometimes. Yep, even THAT. ?

Some thoughts for you to chew on today: ?

?1. Progress not perfection. learn, grow, be a student but give yourself room to make some mistakes. ?

?2. Who told you thar you weren't good enough? You don't have to carry that bullshit story around with you forever. It was never yours in the first place.?

?3. The people you are spending time comparing yourself to are also comparing themselves to others. Focus in and on your own journey.?

 But what if you are too scared to succeed, right?

 One of the most complex of fears but some of us in the world are actually scared of success.?

The type of people that often struggle with this fear? ?

-Perfectionists?

-Over achievers?

-The ambitious among you?

?Why the fear??

• A worry that life might change if you succeed??
• A worry that by raising the bar you might then fail??
• Worries around money and how that might change people’s perception of you
• Fear of how other people might respond to your success, what if they don't like you anymore? ??

If you think this might be you:?

?PEN TO PAPER: ?

1. Jot down what it is about success that feels daunting? Lack of control, judgement, fear of failing after the initial success etc.?
2. Write down a 'belief' around the fear of success i.e. 'if I succeed I won’t have time to have fun anymore' and then write down some counter argument statements 'If I succeed I'll have more money and be able to take that really fun trip away' ??
3. Write out 10 ways your succeeding will be great for the world, big or small and keep this somewhere to hand *take a pic of it and save it on your phone, so when this fear pops up you can remind yourself that your success is a wonderful thing in whatever form it looks.?

You might also want to check out my latest PODCAST episode around the FE?AR OF UNCERTAINTY: THE HAPPY ME PROJECT