Fawlty Showers 2

Didn’t Day

“Primanti’s for lunch?” Dana asked. Dana and I both usually at lunch at our desks.

I said, “Sure, but what’s the occasion?”

“Didn’t Day.”

“Didn’t Day?”

“One day a year I’m gonna reward myself for all the things I didn’t say or didn’t do because I’m a civilized person, and I don’t want to add to the anger, stupidity, and overall rudeness that’s become the norm,” Dana said in one long breath, punctuating each word with a finger jab.

“OK,” I said, cautiously taking a step backward. “Example?”

“I didn’t tell the woman talking on her phone, blocking the aisle at the grocery store, to move her lazy ass before I ran her over with my cart. Instead I said ‘Excuse me’ twice.”

I got it. “I didn’t eat the last brownie.”

“I didn’t poison the lady from the home owners association when she stopped by for coffee, and to ask when we’d be painting our fence and trimming our hedges.”

“I didn’t complain when the old guy’s stuff took up the entire bench in the locker room. Figured he’d earned a little slack.”

Dana said, “Didn’t punch that new guy in my group who called me Missy, and told me he spent more in tips than I made in a year.”

I noticed Dana’s ‘didn’ts’ were a lot darker than mine, but I didn’t mention it.

Today I will celebrate DIDN'T DAY in honor of all the things I didn't do or say.

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Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

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