The FAUX "Aviation Professional?"

So when did MBA start to mean more than ATP in aviation? Exactly when did aviation go from a real profession, to a clown show.

I always think of people who are called professionals (in any profession), as licensed, as trained, tested, and proven to another actual professional, or unbiased examiner, or certified board to meet certain minimum standards.

In fact, I think it is even against the law to practice medicine, law, accounting, sell real estate, be a plummer and yes even flying with out a license. So what kind of aviation professional does not possess valid certification that they are indeed skilled, trained, and tested, and more importantly, experienced, proven, and respected amount there colleagues? Apparently anyone can!

If you are not experienced, proven, and respected, and you and call yourself an aviation professional...you are wrong...what you are is "A FAUX AVIATION PROFESSIONAL" or a FAP!

FYI, in case anyone cares, FAP, is exactly the same sound that bulls make out in a field conducting their bull business.

Hey I do not care if people want to make a living in business aviation if they can. But here is the thing you all need to know, a web site, a business card, joining the NBAA, or wearing a Hugo Boss suit does not make an aviation professional. Nor does being a private pilot make a stone rookie into an aviation professional.

Having an SEL rating pretty much just means you know where the airport is. A FAP with a private pilots licence as zero idea about operations, has never been hired to fly, or been hired to run even the most mundane of flight operations. Yet they refer to themselves as aviation experts, they advertise an promote themselves as aviation consultants, and all other variants of real professional aviators, without any knowledge or practical experience.

The majority of people I talk to regarding aviation, claim to be aviation professionals, yet for some reason, they cannot close the door on a Lear Jet. How come most of these so called tenured professionals do not know the difference between block time and flight time, or what vreff is, or can tell the difference between N1 and N2, or even know what N1 and N2 is? Yet they routinely sell jet aircraft, and market aviation products to people that have no idea who these FAP's are, or what they are dealing with...and selling the wrong airplane for the wrong use is not only expensive, but it can often end badly...yet no license or responsibly is required by the FAA. Which is weird since aviation is the second most regulated industry after Nuclear Power Plants.

So I was curious to learn where these arrogant, self anointed interlopers who call themselves aviation professionals originated from. They sure as heck are not pilots, or any kind of actual aviation professional...in fact it is the opposite, these phony aviation professionals despise actual pilots, and routienly belittle them as "those dumb pilots", or minimally accept us dump pilots as a necessary evil.

So I set about trying to find out who these Faux aviation professionals are, and how they got here. Seems some are born into it though a parent FAP, and then joined the family business...aka, FAP Inc....But these FAP's certainly never learned the skill set required to be an aviation professional (you know being paid by someone to run a flight department, or to fly for someone, as in an actual professional). Other FAP's wind up in some job attached to aviation after answering an ad for an accountant or whatever paper pushers do...some just decide one day because they saw, or flew in somebodies else's corporate jet that qualifies them to know and understand aviation, it does not...Not even close...Others just decide one day they like airplanes, so since they are the smartest guys on the planet (at least that is what they will tell you), they get into the aviation business, because, well, just because. I mean why not, there are zero requirement to be a FAP by the FAA. There is literally no other aspect of aviation that is not 100% controlled by the FAA except for the FAP's and baggage handlers. And even baggage handlers need special training. You cannot even talk on a aircraft radio without certification. But a FAP can sell you a jet he knows nothing about, and give advise on how to operate it. And if the FAP is wrong, and that creates a problem that all goes badly wrong, no problem for the FAP, he skates. Like I said before, zero responsibly.

There is some good news though. However they got here, you can always spot an FAP within seconds of meeting or talking to them, and here is exactly how?

FAP's all come with this tell tale trait. The indicator of the non-aviation professional, aviation professional is this. The non aviation professional, professional is compelled to constantly and annoying speak technical talk. A language they absolutely do not understand. However, somewhere along the line, these dip sticks  professionals got the idea that if they call everything by a technical term, that it was going to make them accepted as experts in aviation...It doesn't...what it does do is to tell every real professional that these guys are clueless, or worse yet, clueless with an SEL.

Real aviation professionals do not use every descriptive adjective of a product or service to describe it. Real aviation types simply do not talk that way.

For example, when talking to an actual aviation professional, he or she might refer to a new wifi system installed in their aircraft as, we have wifi now. Or we got a new Wifi. So text me…

The amateur professional, or the FAP will spell out every detail of the wifi in endless and excruciating details…and it goes something like this...ABC company international just installed a 236-A2 XYZ double sham, Y-T modulated, interstellar, cross beam, glow in the dark, Wifi on their B one RD. So text them.

And they do that with everything regarding aviation, and they do it all the time.

So who are these aviation professionals that are not really pilots, or know anything about operations? Beats me, but they ain't aviation professionals that is for sure. They just show up one day and whip out their card, and start describing some Sat Com system in agonizing details…it is like finger nails on a chalk board listening to them…

Here is another irritating trait they all come with…they will all tell you that have all been in the aviation business for ten years or more and are highly respected within the industry...by who, exactly? Other FAP's? These people sell stuff, just like a used car salesman, or any other telemarketer…they sell stuff, stuff they have no idea what it is, or why it works, or why you need one…and they are annoyingly arrogant and self serving. That they are good at!

Recently I had one FAP of FAP inc. tell me proudly that he was responsible for putting together the purchase of a company I started 30 years ago..it did not matter to me as I was long gone, but imagine my impression of this guy...Somehow he thinks that after I created, and started that hugely successful company, that in someway I was going to be impressed by his talent as the guy that found a guy to buy the hugely successful company that I created. I was Not! At the very least he should have thanked me, but of course, he was too busy telling me about how smart he was.

I had an FAP advise me the other day that my attitude toward and about the FAP's infestation in my industry was a bad thing, so I wrote this post to make sure there was no misunderstanding how I really felt about all of them. He advised me that that I should know I was going to hurt my standing in the aviation community...REALLY?

Making fun of, and talking about FAP's was going to hurt my standing in the FAP community....So what...Lets face it...the FAP in all respects is a KIWI, and will always be a flightless B one RD, aka "bird," or a KIWI GU11 (Gull) specialists.

I just think that the FAP community should know that the real aviation community finds them insulting and mindless. When you actually earn that ATP, have to get first class physical every six months, have to pass check rides every six months to ensure currency and to meet flight standards (to keep your job),  have at least 5,000 PIC, typed in a couple of jets, and routinely fly into the East coast or Midwest year round...then call me and tell me you are an aviation professional. Until that time your only qualification to be in the aviation business are that of a telemarketing FAP.