A Fathers Love on Valentine's day

It was the worst day of my life. As a SEAL, I had been through many incredibly difficult situations, but nothing compared to what was happening now.

My 2 y/o daughter was laying on the ER hospital bed, balling and screaming “Daaadddyyy” over and over as the nurses struggled to insert an IV into each of her tiny arms.

The day had started just like any other, except that we thought our little girl had a cold. A bad cold, but just a cold none the less. As she continued to get more lethargic, thirsty, and miserable I became concerned enough to Google her symptoms. What I read prompted me to rush her to the emergency room.

After a short conversation with the front desk, they took us straight to a bed in the back. I remember thinking, “I have never been taken in so fast. This can’t be good.” A minute later the nurses rushed in and started with the vitals and inserting the IV’s as I held her, more scared than I have ever been in my life. Then the Dr. arrived, pulled away from another patient, and quickly poked her finger and inserted the blood into a device.

Then she asked me to step out of the room for a minute. As I stood there still looking at my baby girl covered in bandages and hoses, scared and in shock, I heard the words that I knew were coming but hit me like an armored Humvee anyway,

“Sir, I am very sorry. Her blood glucose levels are over 600. Your daughter has diabetes. Most likely Type 1. We will need to start her on insulin right away.”

I recently sat down with Kevin D'Amour, the Chief Science Officer for Viacyte to discuss possible cures being developed for the T1 community, but we also discussed that day and the decisions, consequences, and proceedings that followed. That day was the start to a different life, and with it, some very harsh realities. Not least of which was the fact that as parents we were no longer just trying to keep our daughter safe and raise her right, but now we were in a fight to keep her alive at all times.

 Every minute of every day we were essentially acting as one of her vital organs.

But I also quickly came to the realization that I had to be there for my family, and nothing was more important. Not even being a SEAL or the mission, and no matter how much I had sacrificed for my “dream”, my true priorities had become excruciatingly clear. I had achieved my greatest dream, was living my ideal life, and had everything I had ever wanted. But I knew that I had to give it all up, and I did without a second thought. I gave it up for love.

I still love my country, the military, and I still love the SEAL teams. I just love my daughter, wife, and family more.

There was no way I was going to leave her again for more than a short while, and no way I could leave my wife to deal with the constant monitoring and adjusting of insulin and sugar intake, as well as the never-ending stress, fear, and lack of sleep that was now a part of everyday life.

After I left the cafe that Kevin and I had met at, I thought back to that time in the ER and came to a realization. As horrible as it was that my young daughter contracted this disease that has changed our lives forever, there is still so much to be grateful for. First among those is the fact that I am able to spend Valentine’s day with my little girl. But, also the disease she contracted has such a close community that has been amazing in its support of us and each other.

And I am thankful for the supporting organizations such as JDRF, Viacyte, Dexcom, Tandem, Insulet, Medtronic, etc. that have provided partial cures that have made ours and our daughters lives a little bit better. And finally that there is hope that a cure could be available in the near future.

So on this Valentines day, I hope you have a chance to hold your loved ones, and appreciate what there is to be thankful for.

Happy Valentines day!