Fathers are like a Lighthouse

Happy Fathers Day...

Have you ever thought about your dad, or about what dad's do (the value of a father)? I'm a new dad, and for the last three (3) years I've actually started to think a lot about that question. This is my third (3rd) year, and this time I was in church and we got cup cakes and it was very cool and I was like oh yeah, I'm a dad... However, when I do think about father’s day, my own thoughts are probably shared with a lot of people whose dads were missing in action and even if they were there, they were silent. It reminds me of the chorus of a song that stirred me when I first heard it, 

"Where are the fathers, the responsible ones
Where are the fathers, have they helped to raise their sons
Look at the daughters, do you see the violation
Do you need more demonstration
Are you really even bothered
Tell me where, where are the fathers" 
(Words by T.D Jakes
Music by Israel Houghton)

It's an amazing song that is sadly true, I know my own dad was a silent guy and my own parents marriage ended in divorce; my change happened when I was sixteen (16) I started spending time with another family, they may not have been my natural parents, but with each passing year, I experienced what all children should experience, great parents (today I actually call them mum and dad)... 

Where are the fathers? For a long time, a massive shift has occurred because dads have messed up around the world. Let's face it men have really messed up and mum's have had to work two (2) jobs and juggle everything to keep their children safe, they really deserve mothers day, but as dad's I wonder if we do. When I think about abused woman, even when the abuse is as simple as a husband saying I'm tired and I've worked hard to keep food on the table around here I've done my job what more do you want, it's your job to take care of the kids. As I write this article, I've had to ask myself if it makes sense to keep writing because maybe we don't deserve a fathers day. The answer was yes, because thank God that amongst all the mess there are great dads out there. And as new dads we have a chance to be great dads; the truth is it may not be too late to become a great dad if you have gone off course.

So if men had another chance, how do we become great dad's, or maybe the question should be, what role do dad's play and how can I be a great dad?

Well, I was in that conversation yesterday and after talking for a while with another very special dad, it hit me - 'great dad's are like lighthouses'... So if you want to be a great dad, be a lighthouse. It may sound crazy, until you research what lighthouses are there for. I believe that if you were to position yourself as a father with that thought in mind, it would be an amazing place to start to becoming a great father.

Ever wondered what a lighthouse is all about? 

A lighthouse is a tower topped with a very bright light called a beacon. The beacon is used by sailors to help guide their ship at night. Lighthouses come in all shapes and sizes. They are usually located on the coast, on islands, or in the middle of busy harbors. Florida lighthouses are commonly found near inlets, on low-lying islands called keys, or over dangerous underwater reefs. No matter where it is located the purpose of a lighthouse is always the same, to warn ships of danger and guide them safely on their way. The two main purposes of a lighthouse are to serve as a navigational aid and to warn boats of dangerous areas (just like a traffic sign on the sea).

As I was researching about lighthouses, the following description of lighthouse keeper sure sounded a lot like being a dad or at least how dads should be, "People have tended lighthouses so that others could safely reach their destination.  They did their work day in and day out with very little, if any notice from fellow citizens.  Lighthouse keepers were ordinary men and women who stayed by their light posts and did the best job they could under trying circumstances" (Dan Ellis, Lighthouses and Islands of the Gulf).

After reading that, I said to myself, that's what great dads do, day in day out they help their families navigate through dangerous situations so that they can reach their destination safely. So that's why it made perfect sense to me to compare the role of a father to that of a lighthouse. Sadly as dad's we often only see our value when it is too late - when the lights go out and ships crash. It's a simple truth, when dads don't shine their lights, families’ move into dangerous waters and their ships do eventually crash. From prisons to community centers to people from all walks of life, the same comments can always be heard, 'my father wasn't around', or he was there, but he wasn't there for me'.

So it's simple dads, if you want to keep your family on course, become a lighthouse, or at least consider what a lighthouse is and model your role as a father with that thought in mind. No matter where in the world you are located your role in your family will always be the same, 'to guide your family and keep them in safe waters'. So, the next time you wonder if you are important to your family, consider the humble lighthouse - keep your light on and keep your family safe. Sure we make mistakes along the way, but without you around life is a shipwreck waiting to happen (so keep your light on).

'Happy Fathers Day', thanks for keeping your light on great dads...