A FATHER's DAY TRIBUTE: STEELERS...SACRIFICE...LEADERSHIP... and LOVE

I am sure most of you can relate to an old school father like mine. My dad believed in tough love, chores before play, don’t make excuses, I’ll give you something to cry about, figure it out, or his favorite, compared to what is this a problem? It was a rare day to hear my Dad say “job well done”  or “I love you”!  

Growing up in the 60’s & 70’s, my dad was not around a lot because he was busy working hard as a sole proprietor to earn a living to support our family of seven kids! Like most teenagers, often times I did not understand my dad, a WWII vet, son of a Polish immigrant dad, who showed his love through discipline and sacrifice. And I certainly did not show him the amount respect he deserved. As I grew into my late 20’s, my father and I grew much closer after mom died. We grew even closer in my 30’s after getting married and raising a family of three children of our own.

But it takes the beauty of the passage of time and many life lessons along the way to begin to understand the leaders in our personal lives more clearly, particularly those closest to us, like our fathers.  Now many decades later, long after his passing, it amazes me how my dad continues to “whisper lessons” into my ear even to this day that are impactful and on point and my respect for him still grows stronger decades later!

There is one unforgettable, very special moment of my dad and I watching a STEELERS pre-season game together on a sunny evening in August 1997. I stopped to see dad at his townhome in Oakmont  to see how he was doing. You see, my dad was in his fourth month of battling bladder cancer and had suffered some setbacks and he even though he was mobile he spent most of his time resting in his medical bed. I was hoping to watch a pre-season STEELERS game with him by his bedside 1-on-1 for at least for the first quarter before he would most likely get too tired to watch.

But on this particular warm sunny Saturday evening in August in 1997 without fanfare he asked me and the contract nurse to help him get into his favorite chair closer to the TV so we could both sit side by side and watch the game together. Sitting on the arm of the chair next to him, I remember noticing that he was sitting up straight, smiling, alert and we laughed and cheered on some of our favorite players together like Jerome Bettis, Kordell Steward and Mark Bruner! It was amazing to see the strength he showed. 

At half time, I offered to get him back into the bed, but not on this day - he said he felt good and wanted to stay in his chair watching the entire game next to me.  Our time together flew by and as the game was winding down, I remember helping my dad back into bed giving him huge hug and telling him I love him. And he softly whispered in my ear “I love you Ron.”   

Little did I know that would be the last time I would see him alive…

I flew to Tampa that week and was at the business lunch meeting when my cell phone rang and it was my sister, her tone tense and voice urgent, telling me that dad had gotten worse and I needed to fly home as soon as possible.  My local Tampa distributor rushed me to the airport running red lights to get me there as fast as possible. As I flew home, I began to think of all the great memories my dad and I had together and all that he had taught me. All the baseball games and wrestling matches he had quietly come to watch not wanting me to notice him there. The one-on-one time in the back yard teaching me how to golf.  All the times he would come to visit my wife and I at our new home spending time as “Grand Pap” with our 3 toddlers actually lying on the floor playing games with them!

My dad had died that day Thursday Aug 7th 1997 and I did not get back soon enough to see him. But I will never forget the memory of my father, particularly on this Father’s Day of us sitting side by side in his favorite chair on that sunny Saturday in August 1997, shoulder to shoulder smiling watching the STEELERS together.

The foresight, strength, leadership and yes….LOVE my dad showed that day are forever etched in my mind reminding me just how special our connection was, how selfless my dad was and that he wanted to make sure we watched one last STEELERS game together.  HAPPY FATHER’s DAY DAD!  I love you...

Excerpt from my yet to be published book…. LEADERSHIP = ________________ by Ron Skalski