A Father’s Day Reversal

I love Father’s Day, and not because the focus is on me. Nor is it the “Papa, we made you breakfast…” although I do love pancakes. What I like most is that it makes me stop and think about all the joys I’ve known – and continue to discover – as a father. The gift, of course, is the role itself.

This year, Father’s Day falls on June 16 and I’ve decided to switch it up. I’m going to “spoil” my kids. Father’s Day is all about celebrating fatherhood and what better way to do that than to give the gift of some more unsolicited fatherly advice.

I have the privilege of being the father of three amazing kids. Along the way, I’ve shared with them my thoughts on what it takes to lead a fulfilling and happy life. This Father’s Day, I’ve written down some of the keys I hope they remember as they develop into teenagers and adults.

• You can do anything in this world, but you can't do everything. Life is full of endless possibilities and you should take the opportunity to explore as many as possible. Then follow your head, heart and gut to pursue the few that resonate with you. Immerse yourself in a few real passions rather than scattering your focus. Cassian – playing in the NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB simultaneously might prove to be a challenge but for now, let’s channel your energy towards the pee-wee soccer team. 
• Believe in yourself before expecting anyone else to believe in you. Success in any endeavor begins with your belief that you can do it. No one else can supply your confidence, and you shouldn’t give anyone else that much power over your direction in life. To my oldest daughter, Zo?, you came out of the womb knowing who you are and what you stand for. Don’t ever lose sight of that gift.
• Don’t be so quick to say no. Remember to try it before you say you don’t like it. This can apply to trying new food, exploring new places or different career paths. What’s new and exciting can also trigger fear and uncertainty. My daughter Maxine, calls it “nervacited” (that strange combination of nervous and excited). Pay attention to that. Ask yourself, “Is the fear justified?” Beyond the butterflies in your stomach may lie a rich life experience you’ll never know if you don’t give it a shot.

 And, to all three of my children, here are two more pieces of advice:  

•  Your life is a marathon, not a sprint. One of the gifts of youth is the inclination and ability to go at warp speed. Don’t be impatient with life. Yes, take on your daily challenges with all you’ve got. But understand that much of life unfolds at its own pace and it is wise to spend your energy trying to recognize this, rather than trying to force it.
•  If you fall, fall quickly and keep going. Falling or failing is a part of life. No one ever learned to ski or skate without a long list of stumbles and tumbles. It’s not the falling but the getting back up that matters. Failing has much to teach us but the lessons don’t come if the student doesn’t show up. Getting back up when we’re down teaches us resilience, too.

Being your father is truly the greatest honor of my life and I’ll always cheer you on while you’re growing, learning, making your mistakes, and making your mark on this world.