Father’s Day Reflections: Eternal Wisdom On The Journey

As Father's Day approaches, I’ve been reflecting a bit on??some of what I learned in raising four children to adulthood and most importantly, good humans.??Each of them have embarked on their own unique paths.??Lately, I’ve been reading some ancient material and have come across some profound teachings and eternal wisdom that I see related to those experiences.??I believe these ideas hold invaluable lessons for high-performing CEOs, leaders and all of us as parents. These lessons, some of which I stumbled upon during my early years, have shaped me into a better leader and, more importantly, a better father and human.

This inspired me to write a poem which I share below:

Father's Day Reflections: Eternal Wisdom

Reflecting back on a father's journey,

One, two, three, then four,

A balanced pack, who's keeping score?

Children raising children,

Growing as we go,

Once upon a time, how to know?

Memories fade, yet stories remain,

Raising four young spirits,

Each carving their lane.

Backpacking Alaska to Georgia,

Countless treks in between,

Destination not the goal,

Twas the journey unseen.

Soccer and hoops,

About Time in the ring,

Horse shows a plenty,

Rascal is loved, in spite of his loops.

From Mother's Day out to a grad school pursuit,

If I'd known then, what wisdom would take root.

Regret not useful, nor the feeling I embrace,

As I gaze upon four grown humans,

Gifts from another world, so full of grace.

That lingering worry, it often would come,

If I falter or err, will they take off and run?

It’s not the perfect outcome,

This duty of ours,

It’s the journey, rich and profound,

That truly empowers.

Grateful this day,

For the highs and the lows,

Life gives no shortcuts,

Around life’s twisty throes.

Embracing Duty with Detachment:

High-performing individuals who become parents, often find themselves caught up in the pressure of achieving specific outcomes for their children. However, the Bhagavad Gita teaches us the importance of fulfilling our duties with detachment from the results. While that may seem antithetical to hard charging leaders who must deliver results, raising a human requires a different mindset, that may also translate into the workplace and leading other humans.

"You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions."??- BG 2.47

Letting go of the burden of arbitrary external outcome expectations can liberate us, allowing us to find a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment. This lesson became clear to me when one of my sons faced academic challenges in his highly competitive “gifted” elementary school. Rather than focusing solely on his academic achievements (or lack there of at the time).??When pressed about his performance relative to the other kids, I told his teacher, “the last thing I want is for my kid to peak in 1st grade”.???I emphasized his overall growth as a compassionate human being. She was surprised at my priorities and my seeming lack of competitiveness with the other families in the class. This perspective led us to change schools at the end of the year, creating an environment where he could thrive holistically and at his own pace.??This choice proved to be a good one as he eventually went on to earn a Master’s degree. He’s also a happy young man and enjoys a successful career in his chosen field, which so happens to require a tremendous amount of reading, writing and creativity, but not straight A’s in 1st grade.

Another parallel relates to our time in Scouting and the many adventures backpack camping I had with my two sons. From 9 years old to adulthood, in addition to local trips in Indiana, we tackled backing trips in the Appalachian trail, Rocky Mountain National Park, Philmont Ranch in New Mexico, and Alaska’s Wrangle-St. Alias National Park.??While the stated destination for each of these trips was always clear, the process and journey are what truly mattered in the end - each of these phases are what made it meaningful to both the boys and to us adults.

By shifting our focus to the process rather than external benchmarks, we empower our children to embrace their own journey and find their authentic path. This empowers and informs our journey as parents just as much. Father's Day reminds us to value the journey, nurturing individuality and overall well-being. By doing so, we lay the foundation for a future marked by purpose and fulfillment.??

Parenting isn’t for the meek.??Sometimes it’s a thankless job. We must perform our duties to the best of our abilities, and have no right to the “fruits of our actions”,??but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

On this Father's Day , no matter what has happened up to now in your parenting journey, it’s possible to learn and adjust from these timeless teachings with your actions. By embracing our duties with gusto and yet detachment from arbitrary outcomes you will set the example for your children, your teams, your community and our world.

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