Father's Day: Learning From the Pleasure and Pain

Father's Day feels unbearably poignant this year because of the recent sickening events in Orlando and Yorkshire. Fathers have lost their children. A father has lost the mother of his children. Unimaginable pain and grief. Lives needlessly cut short and so much unlived potential. Love traduced by hate. Those that were touched by their short lives are left with nothing but premature memories. I will embrace my three children a little tighter this weekend. 

The father of Jo Cox's children issued a statement within hours of his wife's murder. His words show remarkable strength at a time of maximum shock. They are writ large with the values they shared in life that will pass to their children as they grow up.   

She would have wanted two things above all else to happen now. One, that our precious children are bathed in love and, two, that we all unite to fight against the hatred that killed her. Hate does not have a creed, race or religion. It is poisonous.

Brendan Cox 

Their two small children will carry both the love and the sorrow in their hearts for as long as they live. Love can triumph in the face of tragedy and adversity as this wonderful tribute from a daughter to a father shows: 

The influence of Nancy Kline's father that day was profound. She went on to develop a philosophy and hugely successful business built around a Thinking Environment. She is the author of the wonderful Time to Think and More Time to Think books. Her work has influenced national leaders, major organisations and thousands of individuals. 

My Dad died over 20 years ago. His legacy lives on through me and my children. Family norms and traditions often develop or get shared when we are young. Then we morph into our parents the older we get (so I've been told by my nearest and dearest). Dad had several sayings that he repeated endlessly - irritating at the time, but finding resonance again as we mature and fondly reflect back. Here are five that ended up being life lessons:

1. Today is the yesterday of tomorrow - life is precious and it's gone in an instant so make the most of it.
2. An inch is as good as a mile - ask any golfer, that missed putt still counts as a shot, the same as a 300-yard drive. Get over it, move on.
3. "Courage, mon Ami, le Diable est mort!" A quote from 19th Century novelist and dramatist, Charles Reade, about overcoming your fears.
4. Who's the best cook in the world? Love conquers all, so you can never say it enough to the ones that brought you into this world.
5. Our family never gives up - we never have and we never will.

Father's Day will never be the same again for those who have lost loved ones in the last week. I hope the grief and sorrow are softened in time by reflection on lives that were lived and the joy that they brought. 

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David (@David_Shindler) is an independent coach, blogger and speaker, associate with several consultancies, founder of The Employability Hub (free resources for students and graduates), author of Learning to Leap: a guide to being more employable, Digital Bad Hair Days and co-author with Mark Babbitt of 21 Century Internships (over 200,000 downloads worldwide). His commitment and energy are in promoting lifelong personal and professional development and in tackling youth unemployment. He works with young people and professionals in education and business.

To read more of his work - visit the Learning to Leap blog and download the app to receive his weekly blogs on your mobile (iTunes and Google Play).

And check out his other published articles on LinkedIn:

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