FATHERHOOD WILL SIFT YOU

I've noticed the post "Fatherhood Will Sift You." has been getting a lot of traction on social media, and I'm both thankful and happy about that. But within those four words is my deep philosophy about being a parent. Despite my personal philosophy, I do not judge or put myself in any position to judge anyone who chooses not to be a parent. Allow me to talk about the word 'sift' it means to strain, filter, purify, or to refine. I believe that being a parent gives you lessons in life that you can't get from anywhere else; it's kinda like the next level of adulthood. It refines us; it purifies us; it filters from us things like ego, impatience, and apathy. And strain us from selfish ambitions. In short, being a father/mother makes us better.

You see, I am a father to three wonderful, beautiful, and gifted now young ladies, and I can say it is my honor to be called their father. It is those adjectives that I used to describe them along with their imperfections that made me a better man. I also had experiences working with juveniles/at-risk youth, youth diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, ASD, etc. as a residential counselor, instructor, and support staff. As well I even taught martial arts classes for after school programs. I went into these different areas thinking that would change them, but I did not realize how my interaction and involvement with them would change me significantly for the better. Yes, you can say that my relationship and interaction with these youth and my daughters were sifting me, refining me, make me better than I was before they came into my life (though I still have some rough edges...they may have to stay because I'm not planning on having any more kids..lol).

No one is prepared to be a parent, but parenthood, fatherhood, motherhood will prepare you. It is unfortunate that some parents spent a significant amount of their lives as parents giving lessons to their children and miss lessons that they could receive from them_they was seated in the class of parenthood and fill asleep at their desks. "Fatherhood will sift you" merely means this, that being a parent will strain, screen, filter, or purify you of things, it will refine you. Being a parent will test your resolve in areas and ways that nothing else can. It will refine you with patience making you put up with things that you would not have before. It will sift out apathy leaving room for empathy, and it will take love and refine it to unconditional love. It will sift from us the impurities of selfishness and refine it to selflessness. Even though it may not change your convictions, it teaches you to love despite your convictions. Don't get me wrong, even those who have children can miss the valuable lessons that parenting or that being involved in some child life can give. It is a strange dichotomy in that adults are raising children, but it is our children that are teaching us and preparing us for the next evolution of our character. Children should make adults into a different person.

I've discovered that parenting is not about lording over a child but learning from them. Again we as parents don't have to compromise our values, but we must compromise in how you deal with issues.

Isaiah 11:6 says this:

"The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, The leopard shall lie down with the young goat, The calf and the young lion and the fatling together; And a little child shall lead them.

Having children teaches us and develops us to deal with controversial issues within ourselves and outside of ourselves. It teaches us to stand our ground, yet still love our children despite the ground they choose to stand on. I could say more, but I won't; but what I will say is: Fatherhood will sift you, it will refine you, it will purify you, it will strain out of you what shouldn't be in you.

Are you prepared for the lessons of fatherhood, or have you missed them?