The Father In The Mirror

Everything was going smoothly that afternoon until my 11-year-old son, Advay, and I got into a disagreement. The ask was to allow him to take the tablet over to his friend's house to play online games.

Although it may seem trivial, I was not in favour of giving my consent because the tablet was meant for school and the last time it went out never came back any good..!!! I did propose solutions in order of my preference to help find a compromise.

• It’s evening – Play outside in the community - It green and safe.
• OK, it’s too hot – Play indoor board games – Carrom, Zinga and many more that we have bought!
• OK, board games are boring, watch a movie. Netflix has an option for “kids.”
• Movies are not worth it, so share a PS5 game on the TV…
• Else take your dog out for a walk.

While all my tactical options were rejected outright, the tone of the conversation was escalating from assertive to irritation reaching the point of anger…

To make matters worse, Advay decided to walk out on me with a statement, that I cannot CONTROL him...!!

Oops….That was the red line crossed opening the gates of hell and unleashing the Industrial age parenting demon.!! Walking out on your father means, the code is breached...!! the Lakshman Rekha!! ?

I flipped, held his hand and fiercely dragged him out of the house through the front yard till I reached the main road. Although the anger took the better of me, I was quite aware of how far to escalate this and where to stop… however, Advay knew that things had taken an unexpected turn and it was going to end badly.

I planned to drop him at his friend's house and ask him to stay there forever with his tablet...for the next 500 years. ??

Unable to get out of my fierce grip his only option was to throw his body on the ground with the expectation that Baba (dad) wouldn't drag me 500 meters along the way to my friend's house...!!

Looking at his scared face I ended it there and left him crying outside.

As I came in trying to calm myself down, could hear Kanika, my wife taking Advay upstairs crying furiously in the background, I had a moment… of blankness. I was like ...what just happened...Did I do it right or did I go horribly wrong…!!

My strength of “Harmony” doesn’t allow me to stay in a conflict zone for too long. An hour later I walked up to Advay and we apologized to each other for what we did, we hugged for some time with a few tears shared between both of us.

As Advay went on to indulge in his favourite book overcoming the event as if it were a distant history, I was left somewhat repentant standing alone in that room facing the mirror.

As I gazed intently, I saw some faint images… I walked closer and to my surprise… I could discern a faint image of my dad and a younger 11-year-old version of myself.

There was my dad, who raised me as a son... There is the son who is now a dad…!!

The 2 fathers and 2 sons.. paused for a moment then all of them beamed with a smile that the future is bright and we are there for each other with unwavering trust to make this happen.

As I stood there.. in that darkness of the room.. there was an inner light that said to me.. This is what life is all about.. don't be afraid to re-live your childhood. Challenge yourself and keep your mind open to experiences, some good and some to learn from..!!!