A father giving a date is the meaning of Overdose Awareness Day

I met you and need to tell you what I couldn’t say that day...

I went to a meeting that I was to speak about the opiate epidemic and the work of the Coalition.?

A man came up to introduce himself. We extended our hands to shake, a smile on my face. As our hands grasped I recognized that feeling- time stopping, unaware of anyone or anything else, just you and I.?

Knowing the message you would tell me so important it had changed your life forever. I looked in your eyes, a pain only eyes can speak. No words needed to interpret.

I have seen it so many times; guilt, anguish, wishing there was more you could have done, hours of worry, tears, loss of dreams, knowing your life will never be the same. Holding memories on the forefront of your mind because that is all you have left. Memories a reminder of what is gone, what you will never get back, a wish for just one more time only to be held in your mind.?

I knew what you were going to say, I have been here with mothers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters. Today it was you, a father. I tried to prepare myself but this day, with you I couldn’t. You told me your name, your sons name then- the date he died of an overdose.?

I could feel your grief in my hand, I tried to hold on a little longer as I have with others, hoping it would be a way you would know I support you. I could see pain in your eyes which will never be healed so I looked a little longer as I have with others, maybe you would know I see you and your pain. I began to say I’m sorry knowing it was not enough, would not bring comfort or make you not remember that date so I stopped. I have said I am sorry so many times before, today realizing it wasn’t enough for you, enough for anyone.?

For some reason, this day, with you, all I could think about was how you spoke that date. All the people I have met telling of their dates flooded my mind. In a stunned realization I could not stop thinking we have come to a point in an epidemic where greetings are met with a date. A date a person was lost to addiction. A date for so many their lives changed forever.

Seconds felt like hours, my mind racing wanting to find another word, wanting you to know like all the others I recognize your pain, I see you and your loved one. Their life and story is important. But once again all that came out was “I am so sorry.”

I had no other words. I could only think about you having to introduce yourself with a date. How so many have introduced themselves with a date. We walked away to our seats.

When I began to speak I looked at you noticing your head was down as if you did not want to hear, it all a reminder of that date. Maybe if you didn’t listen each word would not bring you back to that day that is forever etched in the circles of those who have lost loved ones to addiction now bonded by a date.?

I gave my talk. I thought of you the entire time. Tried to be aware of your grief so my message would not cause more pain. I tried. I truly tried.?

After I spoke I sat back down looking over to see how you were doing, wanting you to know all that was on my mind. When the meeting was over, walking past you, I put my hand on your shoulder still unsure what to say just acknowledging without the words, my appreciation of you, your son.?

I am not sure if we will meet again. I know I will meet others who introduce themselves with the date they lost a loved one to addiction. I need you to know what I could not find words at that moment to say that day and all the days to come when I meet others...

Your loved ones life has purpose and meaning. All the days before that date are how I will remember them. I know the meaning of that date and as you immortalize their memory I and many others immortalize their life by using that date to inspire change with our work.?

Sharing that date with me is a gift I will always keep telling the world so all know how important that date is.?

I shed a tear for that date, not out of pity but to honor their life and grieve with you.?

I held your hand longer, listened a little longer, looked a little longer and in that moment there was nothing more important than you, that date and the memories of your loved one.?

I need you to know when you shared that date there was no judgement, criticism or shame.?

That date, all the dates are their lives that I use for determination to continue no matter how unrealistic-

A hope that one day there will not be a date used as a memory but a date of recovery.?

The life of your loved one a legacy that will be passed to others so they are never forgotten, survived in the lives of others. That date a message carried to the many what they need to understand.

It is never just the loss of one to addiction, nor can the one ever be dismissed. Always with them is a mother, father, brother, sister, son or daughter who will forever grieve the one.?

Not based upon the date they tell the world in an introduction. Instead all the days you shared with them between those dates