Identity crisis: Is it real?
Seb York MCIPD
People Partner | Employee Relations | Recruitment | Social Inclusion
What is identity?
By doing a quick online search, you will come up with multiple websites defining personal identity as “the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another”. In other words, identity relates to “who are we?” and “what does it really mean?”. Identity refers to experiences, memories, customs, and values that influence our behaviours and interpretation of the external environment; as a result, people hold many identities at the same time. Individuals identify themselves through their marital status, family status, as a friend or professional, however, many identities are inherited through the family, upbringing, or culture. People might identify themselves with a certain religion or behaviour i.e. the pursue of the highest level of education possible.?
Identity development
Identity is shaped throughout one’s life and involves three main components: discovering the potential, choosing the purpose in life, and finding opportunities to combine the purpose with the potential.
Erik Erikson created one of the leading theories of identity development. The [Erikson’s] lifecycle has been separated into eight stages, each containing a conflict, with the resolution leading to the development of personality. The most pressing conflicts occurred during adolescence (“identity versus role confusion”). Adolescences choose their career or education path, political or religious believes, the role of the partner or a friend, but face further confusion due to the inability to choose one role over another. With time, their identity presents itself as individuals prioritise their believes, values, and life choices. However, the path of identity formation still occurs in adulthood. Events like marriage, the birth of a child, divorce, being lied to, or feeling separated from previously held beliefs, make us re-define our values or priorities, subsequently leading to the formation of a new identity.?
'Identity crisis'
Erikson created the term ‘ego identity’ which defined an ability to merge all separate identities into one, to create a coherent approach to life. You, however, can be faced with self-doubts whether your chosen identity was correct, which may refer to political views, career choices, religion or gender recognition.
'Identity crisis' can be caused by similar events as identity development, however, the results might become more concerning. Any type of crisis in your life can affect your mental health. You can see that through the symptoms like feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, loss of interest in things once enjoyed, fatigue, issues with concentration, lack of sleep, irritability, or changes in appetite or weight.
Potential signs to look out for:
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What can I do?
The first or foremost is to remember that you are YOU. Questioning your sense of self may actually be a good thing as you get to understand changes in your life and the necessary adaptation. Potential identity crisis, due to new and previously unexplored identities, will be consequently replaced by ‘ego identity’.
Depending on the cause of your identity crisis, don’t allow society’s standards to dictate who you are and what you should enjoy or be like.
Just because you’re of a certain age, gender, or cultural group, doesn’t mean that you need to follow ‘expected norms’ if you no longer consider it as applicable to you.
A positive opinion of self is important to your overall well-being. It may take time for the people around you to understand any changes you make, but you’ll be happier if you’re real to yourself.
Try to identify things that make you happy or you get joy from doing. It is important to find a support network around you, be it your family or friends, however teammates, colleagues might be as well applicable. If you are going through a big change, joining a new group or a club of people with similar views or interests might be an option.
If you are struggling to work through an identity crisis on your own or with your immediate support group, you can reach out to mental health groups, counselling services or even the wider community.?
What questions should I ask to assess my own identity and values?
Conclusions
Knowing our own identity is important to all of us, however, as change is inevitable, the process of learning about ourselves is a repeating activity that might be frustrating at times. Practice self-care. Draw boundaries with your loved ones about what you need from yourself, and them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.?But always remember, what matters the most is you, and you can always change your views, priorities, a