Fat shaming, being helpful, and cultivating tolerance

Everyone knows that smoking reaps no positive rewards, beyond helping you feel less anxious. A packet of cigarettes, bear a rather disturbing image of a chronic smoker affected by cancer. This is accompanied by a warning in bold letters that says that smoking is injurious to health. So why is it that people still tend to smoke, and why do cigarettes sell like hotcakes? This happens to be a clever subliminal marketing strategy adopted by tobacco companies. Their aim is to induce anxiety in consumers, by looking at the disturbing image and the warning messages, causing them to reach out for that cigarette to lower their anxiety and bring in that sense of mild euphoria. This creates a vicious cycle, and people often struggle to overcome their addictions.

Fat shaming works in a similar way. Instead of the tobacco manufacturer, you have that one aunt who doesn’t spare pulling your leg for putting on those extra kilos at a family gathering. Or it may be an acquaintance who works out six days a week and expects you to have the same level of enthusiasm for fitness. It could even be a stranger on the internet who has a lot of spare time to mock others. We live in an era where fat shaming is commonplace. Receiving a snide comment when you’ve happened to put on some pounds may bring down your self-esteem. Fat shaming can trigger anxiety just like the cancer image affects a smoker subliminally. This creates a vicious cycle, where the person affected reaches out for another helping of food high in fat or sugar, to pacify their negative feelings, and find immediate gratification from food.

There is a recent trend where social media is promoting the notion of ‘loving and accepting your body the way it is’. The internet can also be a dark place for someone who is shamed for being on the heavier end, and merely existing. I must admit that it takes some guts to overcome all that people throw at you on the internet. The dilemma here is that while it is certainly wrong to fat shame someone, it is also not right to encourage and celebrate someone who is complacent with their body and ignorant of the damage they are doing to themselves. Being overweight is an invitation to a plethora of diseases.?

People who are overweight know it. They also don’t wish to be reminded of this from time to time. In fact, they may also have cultivated habits to get themselves in shape, but may just have given up, or may not be addressing the root cause of their issues. And these root causes could stem from a lot of psychological conditioning, beliefs, and thought patterns. Now, what if you want to help someone who is on the heavier side, without coming across as overbearing and inducing that sense of anxiety in them??

Being a nutritionist, I have realized lately, that I find it a challenge to segregate my profession from my relationships with others. I find it my calling to ‘fix’ people’s lives by fixing their health issues.? By this, I don’t mean to say that I view everyone around me as a ‘subject’ or a ‘client’, but as people who need help and guidance to lead a healthier life. After having committed mistakes when it comes to putting my point across to someone, I have concluded that you can only extend your help to someone to a limit. Beyond that, it is really up to an individual about their life choices. Harboring healthy relationships is also about cultivating tolerance towards others' choices, and behaviors.?

At the end of the day, people only help themselves when they want to. Coming from a place of concern, you could mindfully remind them to take care of themselves, being careful not to cross that tipping point that makes you come across as hostile. You cannot expect people to behave, or think the same way that you do. While biology does, human psychology does not seem to understand the principle of ‘calories in, calories out’. There are deeper issues that might need to be tended to. And such situations need to be handled with care and fragility.?