Fat, Forty, and Fired

Many years ago, I read a book by Nigel Marsh titled Fat, Forty and Fired. I wish I had come up with such a title—it's catchy and truly captures the essence of the book. If you only have 10 seconds to read the book, here’s a summary:

Fat, Forty and Fired by Nigel Marsh is an autobiographical account of the author's journey after being unexpectedly laid off at the age of forty. The book delves into his struggles with weight, work-life balance, and self-identity as he navigates the challenges of unemployment.

This book has influenced my outlook on life alongside Start with Why, The Four Agreements, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and Outliers. I don’t remember much of the detail, but I do remember reading the book before I turned 30 to get a glimpse of life at 40. Here are some things I know now about life at 40:

- Food tastes better, and as much as we know too much is bad, we find it hard to resist.

- It is incredibly hard to lose weight; you have to do 2-3 times as much as someone in their 20s. With family and work commitments, this is no trivial feat.

- There is a 40% chance that you will lose your hair. If your dad didn’t do great in this arena, brace yourself.

- Midlife crisis is a real thing.

- Being home is preferable to going out.

Most conversations with peers now cover the following topics:

- Career stagnation

- Making peace with your life choices—it's too late, or so we think

- Thinking about pursuing an MSc or PhD

- Obsessing over an MBA as this is seen as a shortcut to the C-suite

- Frustrations about not getting to the C-suite

- Loss of parents

- Divorce

- Financial security

- Becoming a member of a golf country club (you know who you are)

- Red wine ??

Most people at this age are managers, more so than in their 30s, so you have reached some level of success in terms of career growth and finances (well, not as much as you wish but getting broke now is hard to achieve). There is also a high degree of regret because, with kids now preparing to go to university, it is harder to make the decision to truly pursue the thing you've wanted to do all your life such as going into entrepreneurship, or if you are me, becoming a test cricket commentator as the salary trap is more real. You say to yourself, you may as well ride out the storm, and by the time the kids are done, you are almost 50. I call this the, 'now what age'.

When I think about the lessons from Fat, Forty and Fired and my own life experience, I think some key takeaways are as follows;

For those younger than 40: Take advantage of the opportunities you have. Don't wait for life to force your hand. A mistake at 25 is far less costly than one at 45.

For those around 40: It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. Learn new things. Always. Life doesn’t end at 40; in fact, it can be a whole new beginning if you let it be.

Practical Steps for Reinvention

1. Pursue Further Education: Whether it's a degree, certification, or online course, gaining new knowledge can open doors to different career paths and personal growth. Explore fields you've always been curious about but never had the chance to delve into. For me, this has meant breaking away from sciences into digital and business courses.

2. Embrace New Hobbies: Pick up a new hobby or rediscover an old one. Whether it's painting, writing, gardening, or playing a musical instrument, engaging in creative activities can be incredibly fulfilling and provide a much-needed break from daily stresses. Football is life, so that remains. Just be careful on the sharp turns as those are bad for the now fragile knees.

3. Focus on Health and Wellness: Start a new fitness routine, try a different diet, or join a wellness program. Taking care of your body and mind can lead to a more positive outlook and greater energy levels. Its okay to obsess over fitness, see how far you can run, or how much you can lift. Body weight trumps dumbbells (less likely to get injured)

4. Network and Build Relationships: Attend industry events, join professional groups, or simply reconnect with old friends and colleagues. Networking can provide support, open up new opportunities, and offer fresh perspectives. Most career opportunities at this stage come from those you know and referrals, not so much whether your CV has border around it or not.

5. Travel and Explore: Traveling can be a great way to break the monotony and gain new experiences. Whether it's a short weekend getaway or an extended trip abroad, exploring new places can be revitalizing and inspiring. I find travelling to a country that speaks a different language gives one perspective. Its humbling but in that you grow.

6. Volunteer and Give Back: Volunteering for causes you care about can be incredibly rewarding. It allows you to contribute to your community, meet new people, and develop new skills. I recently agreed to serve on the board of an institution that looks after distressed animals, at first I thought, animals, why should I do that, a few meetings into this, it may turn out to be the most meaningful pursuit yet. The trick here is to learn to say yes to opportunities, left field as they may appear at first glance.

7. Start a Side Hustle: If entrepreneurship has always been a dream, starting a side hustle can be a great way to test the waters. It provides an opportunity to explore your passion without the immediate pressure of financial dependence.

8. Invest in Personal Development: Read books, attend workshops, or listen to podcasts that focus on personal growth. Continuous learning and self-improvement can help you stay motivated and adaptable. Some podcast recommendations, Acquired, HBR Ideacast, S-Town (personal favourite), Start-up and anything by Vusi Thembekwayo (yes, the man is great at what he does).

9. Seek Professional Help: Sometimes, talking to a career coach or therapist can provide the guidance and support needed to navigate through midlife challenges and transitions. Pro-Tip: Don't over commit on an expensive long term contract, these conversations can be expensive.

10. Set New Goals: Reflect on what you want to achieve in the next phase of your life. Setting clear, achievable goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose. Goal setting is underrated.

So, take a deep breath, laugh a little, and remember: Every end is just a new beginning in disguise. You can fall 14 times, who cares, get up and try again. If you are still able to breath, then you can do it. If you are in doubt, I invite you to watch this video. https://youtu.be/tJnJ_fTYofQ?si=XqKnl1QU4d8GpMao

In the end, whether you are 20, 30 or 60, you can always start, its never too late. So yes, you may be fat, forty and fired at 40, but that should not be your final state, it should not be your final chapter, its your book of life, turn a new page and write a different ending.

Thank you @nigelmarsh for the inspiration