The Fastest Way to Recognize Your Worth

Worth is the overall sense of value that an individual feels about themselves. It is the way we view ourselves, what we believe about ourselves, and ultimately it dictates what we think, feel, and do. But where does this come from? And how do you build a sense of worth if you have never had this general feeling of or belief in yourself?

Albert Bandura, a psychologist and researcher, developed a theory known as self-efficacy, which he defined as “people’s beliefs in their capabilities to exercise control over their own functioning and over the events that affect their lives. One’s sense of self-efficacy can provide the foundation for motivation, well-being, and personal accomplishment.” (Lopez-Garrido, 2020).

So, what does this mean for us, how does this relate with building your worth? Bandura discovered that there are four primary ways to build this self-efficacy, or sense of worth and belief in oneself; performance outcomes, vicarious experience, verbal persuasion, and physiological feedback.

The least impactful is physiological feedback; it refers to the way our body feels at a given time, and the meanings we interpret from those body sensations. If we notice our heart racing, palms sweating, butterflies in our stomach, we may interpret that to mean fear, anxiety, panic. Another interpretation could be excitement, eagerness, and a feeling of being ready. The way our bodies feel contributes to our sense of confidence and self-worth when we learn how to control our physiological state, and use it to work for us, rather than against us through the interpretations we create, and the way we get our bodies to feel through movement. We feel confident and worthy when we stand tall, with an open somatic expression and breathe deeply.

Next is verbal persuasion. This refers to the encouragement given by others, or even the encouragement and positive self-talk that one may give to themselves. One very common source of verbal persuasion that many partake in is the listening to motivational tapes, videos, speeches, or audios. This type of motivational pump-up can help put you into a positive, peak performing mental state to help trigger you into action, and help you engage in challenging activities. This guidance, internally or externally, can be incredibly helpful for building worth, belief and confidence.

Then comes the second most influential and effective method of building self-worth, vicarious experience. This, in essence, is modeling. You watch someone who has what you want, who has done what you want to do, or has achieved an accomplishment that you dream of, and you replicate their behaviors. A form of vicarious experience involves working directly with a coach, mentor, or someone who has achieved the level of success you want to achieve. By working with this individual, you are given direct access to the knowledge, tools, and skills that they have possessed, and are able to replicate and fine-tune their guidance in a way that fits you best.

Lastly, there is performance accomplishment or mastery outcomes. Ultimately, this means taking action. Doing, this is the most impactful and truly the only way to build real, long-lasting belief, self-worth, confidence and self-efficacy. The other three tools are important, but they do nothing without combining the final element, which is taking the necessary steps and acting on the thing you are trying to do, learn or accomplish.

Imagine you decided that this year is it, this is the year you are finally going to get in shape. You are sick and tired of looking in the mirror and feeling ashamed of the body you have, you are sick and tired of clothes not fitting you right, and feeling awful anytime you need to go to an event because, honestly, you just don’t want anyone to see you. This is it, you’re ready, you feel it in your body that sense of empowerment and excitement, you watch a motivational video that inspires you, or you tape the picture of the body you want to your fridge, or better yet, you hang up that outfit that you haven’t been able to fit into on your closet door. You talk to your friends and they all tell you how proud they are of you, that they really believe in you and know you can do it. You call that one fit friend you have that offered to help you and go to the gym with you to show you what to do, and you decide on a start date: tomorrow at 7am.

It’s 9pm and you’re feeling excited, ready to finally begin this transformation of your life; you set your water, a little snack and your keys so you aren’t fumbling in the morning trying to find them all, you pick out your clothes and lay them on your bed, you set an alarm for 6:00am so you can get up and make sure you’re on time, and you go to sleep a little early because you want to be ready in the morning.

The alarm goes off, and…it happens. Your mind starts to shooting off thoughts like fireworks on the fourth of July; you begin contemplating the decision you made and you even begin convincing yourself that you don’t need to go, that you’re too tired, it isn’t going to work anyways, and you shouldn’t even try. So, you don’t, you hit snooze and go back to sleep. And you hate yourself. Your confidence drops even lower, something you never believed was possible; you’re angry, disappointed, and go for that thing that always makes you feel better, even for a minute, that thing that you know won’t actually help you, maybe will even make you feel worse later on, but in that moment, it helps, and you do it.

Action, effort, doing, is the only thing that will allow you to build the confidence, worth and belief in yourself that you have always been longing for. It’s in doing that those thoughts, the ones that began firing off when that alarm went off, will start to go away, and be replaced with new, better, more empowering ones. It’s in doing that you will see the results you have been searching for, the accomplishments and achievements you have been dreaming about will finally come true.?

You have to take action, even if it is the smallest step forward. Go do it.

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