The Fastest, The Slowest, and The Most Embarrassing

Back in January, I set the objective of joining an academic program that represented a great learning opportunity in a field of major interest to me.

I had been preparing my application since the second month of this year. After the application’s deadline and a test in English proficiency, I waited for an answer and another test to take. 2 days, then 5, then 10, and still nothing! I asked around to know where I stood and was told that I had not been accepted. I was a little bit disappointed, but curious as to why I did not pass. I decided to ask for feedback in order to know what let me down and what to improve in the future.

The answer I received was simple: I was supposed to take that second test, but I did not. My first thought was: “OMG, they did not send me any link to take it! I got my way out!!”. I was excited, motivated again, thinking that I still had a chance; I was in back in the race! I decided to check my spams (junk emails) before answering them, and within 5 seconds, I found the email asking me to take the test, hidden there, ruining my mood and the efforts I put in so far.

This time, my reaction was quite different from the first. This time, the reason was a silly mistake of my own. I was angry, disappointed, and in disbelief at the same time! So much energy spent on this, so much determination and will to get it…only to lose it because I had not checked my spams. God was I mad at myself! It took me 5 seconds to go from hope and excitement, to anger and disappointment… 5, the fastest 5 seconds of my life.

A few days later, I was swimming and having fun with my little one. After a tiring session, we called it a day and got out of the pool to rest and change. After I asked her to remove her swimsuit and safety kit and put a towel on, my toddler refused to listen. I decided to lead by example. I put a towel on and took my swimwear off, and it worked. As she put her towel on, my brain started thinking about how powerful leading by example can be, even with kids… and then my thoughts got interrupted. A splash of water brought me back to reality; my daughter had jumped back into the pool without her safety kit.

Once the amygdala sent a package of hormones as a reaction to the splash, I bolted and jumped in to rescue her. Thankfully, she was able to hold her breath and not swallow any water; the disaster was avoided, more fear than harm. I realized, right then, that there was something far more important in my life than any academic or professional program, and suddenly, that earlier setback did not feel as upsetting and disappointing anymore. I reckon that it did not take me more than 5 seconds to get to her, but those were the slowest 5 seconds of my life.

As we got out of the pool (once again), some family members (with some guests) were coming to check as they had seen me, through the window, running towards her. I was expecting them to hug my kid since that would be the normal reaction to have after avoiding a catastrophe, but they did not. I even noticed that they all avoided eye contact, some even got back inside without saying a word. It was right then that I saw my reflection on the window, I had lost my towel.

I went back into the pool (once again) to get my towel in less than…you guessed it, 5 seconds…and those seconds, those 5 seconds were the most embarrassing 5 seconds of my life. Ironically, my kid remembers that moment as the funniest 5 seconds…

I thought a lot about whether I should post this or not, since it contains embarrassing situations and one avoided disaster, all of which were personal, but decided to do it as I drew 5 lessons out of them:

1. Leading by example works, even (or especially) with kids.
2. Everything is relative. In physics, 5 seconds can be slower or faster depending on where you are (along with some other factors). In social life, it is upsetting to know that you missed an opportunity because you did not check your spam emails, it is worse to lose your towel in front of guests; but compared to the fear of losing a dear person, those situations feel like such a breeze. Always remember what really matters and what is important to you. It can emotionally help you overcome many setbacks.
3. Opportunities come and go. If you missed one, pull yourself together and get ready for the next one.
4. Minimize your risk as much as possible. If you are waiting for an answer, check your inbox, spams, mailbox, and messages; if you are meeting someone at 5:30, plan to be there at 5; if there is a safety-kit, make the most vulnerable wear it.
5. And last but not least, once you are done swimming, put some clothes on right away!

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