On The Far Side Of Fear

You might not guess from the above photo that public speaking was my biggest fear.

Years ago if you'd told me public speaking would be how I'd make a living I'd never have believed you....

I grew up introverted and the thought of speaking in front of a group was up there with as terrifying a prospect as I could ever imagine. 

I didn't show up for school if there was ever a presentation to do. 

Same went for college....

I grew up studying personal development 'gurus' and so maybe in the back of my mind I dreamed of being able to do similar- but it didn't seem possible for an introvert like me who wasn't 'naturally confident'. 

Then a few years ago I just started. 

First with a ten minute talk (using 10 slides on a slideshow to fall back on). 

Then a 30 minute talk...

And over time I built it up to doing 18 hours over 3 day weekend events (thats a lot of time for people to have to listen to me rambling :O!)

So what happened? 

The obvious answer is that I got out of my comfort zone, but maybe the less obvious answer is I started looking at what was on the far side of my fear. 

When we're scared all of our focus is going to the future and whats going to go wrong. 

We don't ask the person out because we can only think of rejection. 

We don't join the gym because we think of people judging us. 

We don't look new jobs or to start a small business because it might not work out.

I think the most important thing for us when leaning into fears is to put all of the attention on what is on the far side of fear....

I see fear like a wall, and the bigger the fear the bigger the wall. 

If we don't think there is anything worthwhile on the far side of the wall it doesn't make any sense to climb the wall and get over it. 

When it came to speaking I started widening the focus from the fear of being judged or ridiculed and instead started looking at all of the opportunities and growth it could open up for me. 

-The chance to be my own boss

-To impact people in a positive way

-To see new places and meet new people 

-To develop and grow in confidence 

Again fear is compounded when we place all of out attention on how it's not going to work or on the worst possible scenario...

What if instead we started looking at all of the possibilities that will come with taking the step? 

I hope this little message is useful to you!

Have a great weekend, 

Pat

PS. I'm thrilled to say there are only 10 tickets left for my first personal development for men day happening March 7th in Athlone. If you'd like details just send me a message with the subject 'Mens Event'.