The fantastic feeling of abject fear?

Why being afraid to be afraid limits us in terms of risk taking

Fear provides impetus and energy in your life. Not the paralysing limiting fear but the kind that makes you realise how long it has been since you stepped outside your comfort zone and were prepared to take a risk. The perceived wisdom is that we should avoid feeling fear and that it is limiting and debilitating. But fear keeps us alive and more importantly it makes us feel alive. 

So how does failure relate to fear? For me they come hand in hand. Being afraid to be afraid limits us in terms of risk taking. We grow up to fear failure. In our achievements, exams, relationships – if we set goals we want to succeed. That’s a healthy aspiration but where it becomes limiting is when, as we grow older and have more control over our lives, we choose goals we know we can achieve. We can determine how high to set that bar so that it remains attainable for us – worse still we stop setting the bar at all. 

In fact our fear of fear becomes so ingrained that as we go through life we automatically shun activities and situations that might make us frightened. Back to our fearless younger selves who took a risk on meeting someone new, who made new friends and learned how to live away from home. Confronting something new and disconcerting is part of growing up. It’s energising and liberating to face something daunting and to win through. It’s a fantastic feeling and it makes us feel we are really living life to the full.

In life and in business I often talk about failure being a route to success. I have always learned far more from the things I didn’t get right. If everything went smoothly we would never learn anything. I talk to aspiring leaders and young entrepreneurs regularly on the subject. Those bright, gifted, determined graduates who are hardwired for success. Failure and learning from it is one of the harshest but most effective teacher when it comes to real life challenges.

But here's the thing...

As we age we steer well clear of fear and failure for different reasons. Not because we are striving for success. The opposite in fact. Because we are comfortable dawdling in the middle lane of life without any conscious thought about the excitement and thrill of the next big adventure. So my message is simple. Get out there and be afraid. Do things that make you feel that deep rooted inner terror and unleash the thrill of facing and overcoming your fear. And then make it part of your routine. Your brain will love it. There is nothing quite like the thrill of a great adventure.

For a real life injection of energy join me at planetwomanacademy.com on March 24 at The RDS