Family Retrospectives

Yeah, I know how this sounds, but, linger on as results are quite unexpected.

If you are a family with nice ideas, but too little consistency.

If you are stuck with same or similar boomerang issues and challenges that seem to last forever.

If you are seeking a fresh approach to strengthen your family dynamics and foster a sense of unity, open communication and shared vision.

Consider implementing a weekly family retrospective.

The approach

We gather as a family once per week, usually Sunday after breakfast, and go through:

• What went well: Celebrate successes and give recognition where it’s due
• What was not well: Discuss what didn't go as planned and explore reasons
• What to do to improve: Review how well the family adhered to the previous week's resolutions and set new goals

To make this work, one parent should act as a moderator to ensure the discussion remains focused and doesn’t drag on. Trust me, very important.

Allow each family member to speak in turn, without interruption, to share their perspectives. Crucial point.

Keep the vibe light and optimistic.

The results

The results were surprising.

The What went well part was used to recognize good things, share credit and support positive behaviors. Also, it shed some light on how much our kids are aware of the things we do for them and vice versa.

The What was not well part is even more important, as it provides us with the direct glimpse of the perception and perspective of our kids to what we might be doing wrong as parents, not only one way towards kids. Also, it lead to some good discoveries of the bad things we were doing as a family.

We discovered I spend too much time in the loo. That no one is carrying slippers, so socks are one-offs. That no one reads to Senka bed time stories, etc. That we curse and swear, a lot.

Also, when bad things kept repeating every week, small embarrassment started to seep in into those who are ignoring them and eventually came to the point to be addressed by the kids or parents.

Pro tip: we focus on 1 to 2 things to correct until next meeting, so it is not overwhelming. We keep doing that until the issue or bad behavior is changed.

Benefits confirmed

• Consistency: Regular meetings help maintain a routine and ensure ongoing communication.
• Issue Identification and Resolution: It becomes easier to notice and address recurring issues.
• Insight into Children's Thoughts: Understand the concerns and viewpoints of younger family members.
• Confidence Building: Each member's voice is heard, fostering a sense of importance and self-esteem.
• Targeted Improvement: By focusing on one or two key areas each week, the family avoids feeling overwhelmed.

Family retrospectives are a powerful tool for fostering open communication, mutual respect, and collective problem-solving within the family unit. By dedicating just a short time each week to this practice, families can experience profound improvements in their dynamics and relationships.

Try this approach and let me know if it worked for your family. Share your experiences and insights on this journey..