The Family and the Nigeria Media

Whether one believes in religion or science, man did not come from himself. He was formed by either fusing dust with breath or as a bunch of cells that eventually became an organism. Either way, humans have a beginning, a beginning which starts with people; individuals (a man and a woman) from different (or similar) backgrounds that come together to form a coherent unit known as a family. This generalization means that a family can represent connection by birth, marriage, co-residence or shared consumption (Etymonline, 2016).

There are 2 basic types of family; the nuclear and extended family. A nuclear family usually involves parents (father and mother) and children (sister and/or brother) while an extended family is an extension of the nuclear family which includes grand-parents, uncles, aunties, nieces, nephews, second-cousins etc.

However, the concept of family encompasses the above and more. For instance, in Nigeria a family represents also people that reside in a community. People often refer to other people they have no direct relations with as ‘aunty’, ‘uncle’ ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ (Titilaelae, 2008) as a way of denoting respect and familiarity. These words, which suggest biological relationships in a family, are used because a lot of ethnic tribes in Nigeria believe families are all part of a larger family. A popular Igbo and Yoruba proverb says that ‘it is said that it takes a whole village to raise a child’ (Healey, 1998). This proverb means that bringing up a child (essentially a family) is a communal effort. In fact, it is common practice for children to stay with their grandparent or the parent’s friends or relatives. Also neighbors and friends also participate in the upbringing of a child.

All this suggests that a lot of Nigerians are traditional in their idea of what a family is. Nigerians are also traditional in how a nuclear family is constituted. A man and woman come together in a traditional and/or legal ceremony that solidifies their identity as a couple. They pro-create, have children and are then recognised as a family. But this concept is under threat by current trends practiced by the Western culture. According to a report by the Pew Research Center, 2,691 randomly chosen adults where asked if the following trends were good, bad or of no consequence to society:

1. More unmarried couples raising children
2. More gay and lesbian couples raising children
3. More single women having children without a male partner to help raise them
4. More people living together without getting married
5. More mothers of young children working outside the home
6. More people of different races marrying each other
7. More women not ever having children

The research showed that 31% believe that most of these trends make no difference, or are good for society; 32% believe that five or more of the trends are bad for society and while over 37% believe at least of the most of the trends make no difference but agree than at 3 of the trends are bad. The research proves that the American society is warming up to the stated trends. So, with the world now smaller because of technology, these trends are gradually becoming popular within the Nigerian culture. 

The Nigerian media is made up of the print media (newspapers, magazines, and other printed materials), electronic media (TV and radio) as well as the digital media (the internet). In fact, because of network convergence, a process by which all media platforms and devices (telephone, video and data) coexist and communicate efficiently (Rouse, 2008), Nigerians are able to access information from different media outlets on different media platforms, whenever, wherever. This access to information creates a reliance on whatever media platform Nigerians consider the most informative or entertaining. Lindaikejiblog.com, a Nigerian blog created by Linda Ikeji in 2006, is currently ranked by Alexa as the 12th most visited Nigerian website with over 7 million visitors every month (TrafficEstimate, 2016). 93% of those visitors are Nigerians that access her website almost every day. Also, there are over 86,000,000 internet users in Nigeria (InternetLiveStats, 2016); accessing via computer or mobile device, within the home where the individual lives or anywhere the individual operates from. With these figures, the Nigerian media has a sizeable audience to which it broadcast its messages and promotes a popular culture. Also, this means that a large number of people could be affected by the popular culture promoted by the Nigerian media. Currently, there a number of ideas (topical issues) that are presented to the Nigerian family by the Nigerian media. Some are:

1. Who is the Breadwinner; Man or Woman?

One of the principles of the traditional and religious marriages sees the man as the natural provider of his family. The King James Bible in 1 Timothy 5:8 states that if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his own household, he ... for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. The Islamic Quran (4:34) also states that Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). In most ethnic groups, men have always been the breadwinners working for their family. Nowadays, aside bearing and nurturing children, it has been discovered that women are now at the forefront of providing for their families in no small measures. They cultivate, harvest and sell farm produce by themselves, even as they engage in other small-scale businesses. This growing phenomenon, according to a sociologist and chairman of Academic Staff Union of Universities, Nasarawa State University, Keffi, Dr. Theophilus Lagi, has nothing to do with culture of the people in these states. Instead the economy and Nigerian media are constantly encouraging women to have a change in their perspective.

2. Same Sex Marriages

The popular culture preaches that there is nothing wrong with marrying or starting a family with someone of the same gender. This popular culture represented by the Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Trans-Gender (LGBT) community, is now legal in the Unites States and some other countries around the world. The LGBT community believe there is nothing wrong with marrying or co-habiting with people of the same sex. The Nigerian media has begun to broadcast content (movies, books and adverts) that suggest an acceptance of this lifestyle. However, the Nigerian government, as published in the Nigerian Criminal Code that applies to southern Nigeria states that Sex acts between men are illegal and carry a maximum penalty of 14 years' imprisonment. These sex acts do not mention women, it uses a gender-neutral term "person" in Section 214 of the code includes women. Regardless, the Nigerian media continues to broadcast LGBT lifestyles that are gradually affecting the form of the Nigerian family as we know it.

3. Divorce

According to Vanguard newspapers, here are no available statistics on the rate of divorce in Nigeria, but court records suggest that it is on the increase. People divorce for various reasons like infidelity, irreconcilable” differences, unrealistic expectations, immaturity, money matters, religious differences, drug and alcohol addiction, spousal abuses (physical, emotional, psychological and verbal), drastic change in life style, sexual problems or even family and parental interference (Ewherido, 2015). Most Nigerian cultures do not preach divorce but the Nigerian media shows that it is a concept that is gaining acceptance within the people.

4. Discipline (to flog or not to flog)

A lot of Nigerians above thirty years of age have been disciplined by their parents at least once. This discipline, in form of flogging with a cane, punches, slaps, kicks or anything deemed suitable, used pain to correct the erring ways of a child. This discipline also extended to schools where parents encouraged teachers to punish their children if they misbehaved. Nowadays, the Nigerian media broadcasts message that suggested that this discipline is a form of physical abuse. For instance, Ogechi Anyalewechi, a Junior Secondary School Two (JSS II) pupil of Eva Adelaja Girls’ Secondary School in Bariga, Lagos, was flogged on her bare buttocks and back and provoked a debate on the punishment. Some people say she should be flogged, while some like Mrs Florence Aderibigbe, Proprietress, Diamonds Mine Schools, Ogba say flogging is child abuse. Regardless of one’s stance, discipline in the Nigerian family is currently being projected as a form of abuse; that is changing the dynamics of the Nigerian family.

5. Expensive Weddings Marriage

From Television to print, individual websites to social sites, Nigerian weddings are portrayed as a do or die affair because they are lavish and celebrated. In 2013, research company Euromint showed how Nigeria had world’s fastest growing rate of champagne consumption, second only to France, while ahead of other lucrative markets including the US and China. Also, Lagos-based beauty-queen-turned-event-planner, Elohor Aisien, concurs. “Nigerians love champagne, so the most money will be spent on drinks as well as food. On Nigerian weddings there’s food from 2pm till midnight” (Eytan, 2014). This lavishness places an emphasis on the wedding ceremony and not on marriage or the start of a new family.

6. Pressure to marry

The Nigerian media, especially in Nollywood, places an importance on getting married. This is because a lot of cultures place an emphasis on marriage. Also, because the older generations used to get married earlier, there is a push for the newer to get married early. But popular culture from the western world preaches that people can get married at any age. Both men and women are more exposed to the idea of love and happiness being a basis of marriage but their parents believe people should get married because their children are getting old. Thus, they pressurized their children into marrying early, marrying people from certain tribes or of certain financial level. This pressure is clearly documented by the Nigeria media who has created a monster of the issue. In a forum discussion on Nairaland.com about the ‘the unnecessary marriage pressure on the Nigerian female’, people openly admit that the pressure is unbecoming. According to globin, “Even the society is not even helping matter at all. If you meet an old mate or friend the first question that pops out of their mouth is ‘are you married?’ Small discussion between you and your married colleague will lead to ‘you can't understand since you are not married’ like there's a salary that's being paid…” (Nairaland.com, 2015). In a more extreme case, Danielle Saul, committed suicide three days after she told her best friend she “wanted to die” because she was still single (BellaNaija.com, 2016). 

 7. Pressure on women to have kids

Apart from a pressure to marry, there is also a pressure to have children. Parents pressurise their children to have grand-children because a lot of them see a man’s/woman’s ability to have children as validation of their man or womanhood. Also, some individuals before and during parenthood, feel that not having kids leads to an unfulfilled life. In the words of an anonymous woman from Lagos, “I have been happily married to my husband for three years now although we have no kids yet. Every day I pray to get pregnant so I can fulfill my job as his wife. I love my husband so much and I don’t want to think of what desperation to have kids can make him do. Although he doesn’t bother me about it and keeps telling me whenever it happens, it happens, but I want it to happen right now. Every night I go to bed crying in prayer for the fruit of the womb. I want my husband’s family to know he married a complete woman.” (Blaze, 2015). The Nigerian media regularly puts pressure on individuals especially women to have children.

8. Single Parenthood

Single parenthood occurs when a single parent is left to raise a child or children. This happens for a variety of reasons like death of a spouse, divorce, financial inadequacies, by child abuse or neglect or even by choice (Ebun Sessou, 2014). The trend in the Nigerian media is that it is okay for a man or lady to have a child out of wedlock. For a lot of elder ladies who are not married, having a child is better than not getting married.

9. Sugar Dating

In Sugar dating, a rich man contracts poorer but younger/hotter girl into some combination of obligations that includes but is only rarely limited to straight-up sex (Brodesser-Akner, 2015). Hence, younger people are willing to date a much older person as long as the needs are being met. The benefactor is usually called a sugar daddy or sugar mummy, referring to his or her ability to provide the required need (sugar). This trend has existed within the Nigerian family for a long time. For instance, Mr. Okorie, a father of four in Ebonyi State, lost his life in the loins of his much younger girlfriend, Nneoma, who is student of Ebonyi State University (Odunayo, 2015). Mr. Okorie’s family not only lost a family member they also lost their bread-winner. The trend of sugar dating is deeply reflected in Nigerian media content.

CONCLUSION: WHAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE ISSUES; CULTURAL OR MEDIA IMPERIALISM?

Using the cultural imperialism theory that states that the media can impose general cultural values of powerful nations over less potent societies (Queen, 2016), could the Nigerian media be under the influence of the popular culture or media? Also, the media imperialism theory is based upon an over-concentration of mass media from larger nations as a significant variable in negatively affecting smaller nations, in which the national identity of smaller nations is lessened or lost due to media homogeneity inherent in mass media from the larger countries (Kalyani Chadha, 2010).

A lot of Nigerian parents want a better life for their children. So they strive to give them whatever they believe is the best for their children at every point. A lot of Nigerian parents send their children to foreign countries with the belief that the education received there is better than the one in Nigeria. This is because the Nigerian media promotes content that shows the supposed benefits of a foreign education over a “local one.”

However, these parents forget that their children also imbibe the cultures of the countries they reside in while receiving their education. The western culture, which seems a little carefree, is embraced by a lot of Nigerians children who act as carriers of the western culture. These children return and communicate their experience to other children using the Nigerian media (mostly internet).

The Nigerian media has a lot of influence on the Nigerian family and vice versa as many single parents, lesbians and gay are employees in the Nigeria media. They produce the content that a lot of people consume. So maybe they are responsible for what the Nigerian family consume.

However, if the media is a reflection of society and the Nigerian media is a reflection of the Nigerian society, then is it not possible that the Nigerian media is merely mirroring the current practices of the Nigerian society? Regardless of who is to blame, I do see a need for the Nigerian media to advise its audience, especially the Nigerian family on the right way to live.

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