Family-In-Place

There is no way anyone could have predicted that Silicon Valley would become a hotspot for COVID-19, which led Santa Clara County to become one of the first in the nation to shelter-in-place. Yet, with all the sadness and disruption brought upon us, I am thankful that my family and I, with the support of many, have found a new rhythm and are making it work with some pleasant surprises along the way. Despite the many challenges that COVID has introduced into our lives (including the strange urge to hoard toilet paper), we have a unique opportunity to focus on self-care, learn new skills, and most importantly, spend more time with the ones who matter most. With crisis comes opportunity, and I want to take a moment to share with my network, family, and friends, what I am most grateful for:

I have more quality time with my family. Like most parents, I’m continuously exploring new ways to help my family get through this unprecedented crisis. My two oldest boys returned home from college shortly after the shelter-in-place order went into effect in mid-March. Sami Jr., a sophomore at Cal Poly University, and Anthony, a freshman at Santa Clara University have joined their brother Christopher, a sophomore in high school, to finish the school year from home. 

Our schedules have collided under the same roof, and our home has become the most chaotic WeWork space in the Valley. There’s barely enough bandwidth to go around with both my husband Sami and me taking sales calls (he’s at Splunk and I'm at Salesforce), and the boys attending Zoom classes. As Sami and I teeter between supporting our family and helping our customers respond to the pandemic, we are busier than ever.

During this time, I have been surprised and inspired by my son, Anthony, who posted about his own experiences on LinkedIn. He challenges us to stop asking, “When will the lock-in be over?” and ask instead, “How can I use this unusual time for self-improvement?” I’m proud of him for taking this perspective, and I’m taking his challenge to heart.

I am privileged to work for a company that cares as deeply as Salesforce. Thanks to Salesforce, I don’t have to do it alone. Salesforce has launched initiatives to support businesses and individuals. Leading Through Change, an online initiative to help business leaders manage through crises, features talks by thought leaders such as Thrive Global founder Arianna Huffington, comedian Trevor Noah, and Larry Brilliant, a leading epidemiologist who helped eradicate smallpox. I especially enjoyed the dialogue with Stephanie Buscemi and Soledad O’Brien about identifying credible news sources, how the media is adjusting to the new normal, and how to lead through change. At the end of this session, surprise guest Sheryl Crow talked about how “boredom is the greatest gift of creativity” and the ways her family are adapting. I was moved to tears listening to her sing “If It Makes You Happy” from her living room. 

SalesForce is hosting daily wellness talks by experts ranging from Dr. Jane Goodall to Chrissie Hynde to encourage employees to take mental health breaks during the day. I enjoyed the session “Optimism for the Future” hosted by Christiana Figueres. She emphasizes that optimism is a choice. Her message: If you choose to express optimism, you will have a better day and life. The series was such a huge success internally, they decided to open it up to the community given its success. If you’re interested, you too can view the upcoming schedule and access archived videos of the wellness events. 

I am grateful for Peloton and long walks. As a sales leader, I used to spend a lot of my time traveling. While I always missed my family when I was away, I enjoyed having some alone time. Now, I find that I can get that same feeling by kick-starting my day with a Peloton workout (shameless fave instructor plug: Ally Love). Her words of wisdom and inspiration have helped me start my day on a positive note and stay energized. I still laugh every time she asks, “Are you ready to take this challenge—yes or yes?” You don’t even need a Peloton to take advantage of the Peloton App free 90-day trial, which expires on April 30. My sister-in-law, who has three kids under the age of 10, swears by these classes to keep her grounded.

Each day when I finish work, I transition to home life by taking a walk outside. Exercising and taking mental health breaks have helped me feel less stressed, stay in shape, and think more clearly. 

Food has become my love language. I love my mental health breaks while riding the Peloton, but the highlight of my day is sitting down to dinner each night with my family. Family dinner has always been a sacred ritual in our house. It’s so easy to work long hours, but my stopping point throughout my career has always been cooking dinner whenever I’m home. Now, prep time, the meal, and clean-up are full of banter and laughter, soothing anecdotes for us all, and letting go of the challenges we faced that day. 

I love to cook and bake, but because I have a career that involves a lot of travel, I usually have limited time to try new or complicated recipes. However, during what I like to call family-in-place, I decided to change that by spending my weekends having my mom, Henriette, and my mother-in-law, Freda, teach me to make traditional Palestinian dishes and desserts via FaceTime.

This is harder than it sounds because these family recipes are extremely involved and very time-consuming (think whole-day commitment), and they are not written down. There are no measurements! Imagine putting “a dash of this spice” or adding flour “until the dough feels sticky” with my mom and mother-in-law chiming in with animated and sometimes loud instructions over FaceTime, occasionally demanding close-ups to see what I’m doing. So far I’ve tackled mensef (lamb in my favorite yogurt sauce), kibbeh (deep-fried “footballs” of dough made with cracked wheat, meat, and onions, which are stuffed with more meat, pine nuts, and onions), and sfeeha (open-faced meat pies made with fresh dough that I’m trying to master). 

My attempts to expand my culinary skills, both successful and not, have forced me to become much more patient and forgiving of myself (and I’m not just talking about teaching my mom and mother-in-law how to use FaceTime). Their persistence in passing forward the household recipes has taught me the importance of family and tradition. Even though some of us are physically distant, we are still going through this together. 

While I never could have predicted these circumstances, I’m grateful to have these moments of joy in my life, and I look forward to making more memories and sharing them with my kids and their families one day. I have taken the words of Sheryl Crow to heart during this surreal time, “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.”