Family Focus

Starting in 2020, we did something different as a family as it pertains to goals and focuses that we now carry forward each year. It was really out of my family's comfort zone and frankly, mine. Many have read my resolutions article, to say I am not a fan is probably an understatement...The short story is I believe if you want to do something, just do it. Don't wait for January 1. BUT, I have warmed to the idea of an annual focus or word. So in 2020, we had a family meeting specifically focused on finding our word(ya sounds formal, but they laugh at me when I say "family meeting tonight)." In this meeting, we talked about the year in review and where 2020 was going to take us as individuals and as a family. It's now our 3rd year doing this exercise and what it has turned into is something really special.

Let me share how we got there...?

First, yes - they giggled at me when I got out the giant sticky post-it notes I use at work and put them on the walls. They laughed audibly when I got all my markers out...so the tone was light-hearted...we are definitely a family that likes to laugh and have fun...don't take yourself too seriously is my point...

This little exercise seems straightforward forward right? It seems like every family does or should do this. But do they? Do you and your family? I consider us a very bonded and transparent family but we had never done anything like this. Why you ask? Simply put, separation of church and state - is probably more for me than anyone in the family.?I've always been careful to separate work and home life, the intersection of my professional goals and familial goals purposefully intersect very seldom and if they did, I did it with intention - but it's me always in that driver's seat connected to something that was personal to me alone. Sure, I have things that my husband and I collectively want to strive for and the goals we have with the kids whether it's finances, a vacation home, etc.?But, I never thought of putting it together until one of my girlfriends shared what her family does. I kinda felt like a big dummy...I mean, it's a great idea. Your family is a team, why would you not have team goals? Why would you not do a team exercise and get vulnerable with one another about where you want to go and how you want to get there together? Who in the world has better cheerleaders than their family members?? Here is the BUT or why not I can think of -?accountability. You put it out there to the people closest to you and shiznit gets real - but put that aside and lean on the people you love!?

So I put together a little year-in-review asking these questions:

• In 2022 what gave you purpose??
• In 2022 what made you happiest?
• In 2022 what went right??
• In 2022 what was your biggest disappointment?
• In 2022 what were you most grateful for??

What started out with giggling and skepticism started to turn into something really tangible and real...

A warm feeling of love and appreciation flowed through me when we each answered. We actually had some very sweet moments. And we've done other activities to review the year. The year-in-review jar when the kids were younger and a bunch of other "Pinterest" worthy annual little lookbacks. But this felt particularly meaningful. It was events and recollections of things that stood out. I loved it. Every moment of it...?

It was at that point that I shared with them that this exercise was leading us to a focus word for 2020 individually and as a family. This is where my girlfriend's idea came in...Kellie Randle did this practice with her family based on the book "One Word that will Change your Life" by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page. Simply, it's each person picking their individual focus word for the year and then as a family agreeing on a focus word for all. Because I didn't have the book in time to do this exercise, BUT I've done enough team building and goal setting exercises in my lifetime...here is how we got to our word:

• In 2023 how do you want to be better??
• In 2023 what do you want to achieve??
• What do we admire about one another??
• What is your individual word??
• What is our family word??

After we went through these questions, I did actually well up a bit. You think you know your family and what their hopes and dreams are...and in a macro sense you do. But when you get down to these really specific questions, I was kind of shocked, surprised, in awe of how they wanted to be better, what they admired about one another and what their word would be.?

These were our words and protecting the innocent I won't give specifics but I think they are pretty powerful words for us to focus on individually and as a team. They serve as a reminder that you own your future and that words have STRENGTH, they mean something. So whether you pave your own way to creating a focus word or a resolution (whatever works for you) - your family is no better partner to help keep you honest and catapult you forward.

January is almost here - it's not too late to start your year off fresh and focused!?Try this with your family and let me know how it goes! I can't wait to hear...

Stay kind, make good choices, and together we will rise!

LJ?