Families need us to change the narrative.

Recently I’ve been reflecting about families. The ones in which I’ve been lucky enough to a part of their journey, the ones I’ve seen let down by the system and all the others whose stories I don’t know. I see regular examples, highlighting the continuous battles families have to fight to get what their children need. Families shouldn’t have to be fighting at all, but they definitely shouldn’t be in the battle alone.

For me, this work has always been deeply personal. I’ve experienced the system from both sides. I grew up watching families—mine included—struggle to feel seen, heard, and supported in their efforts to get what their children needed. Too often, they felt like they were rewriting the book on their own, trying to advocate without the support they deserved. Now, as an educator, I see the same struggle from within the system, and I feel so passionately that we need to join forces with families to impact change.

A lot of the time, the system can feel broken, and there’s a lot out of our control. But as educators, let us focus on what we can control. Families? don’t need us to be another barrier, another voice that says:

“Your child is too much”

“Your child is not enough”

“there’s something wrong with them”

Those words inevitably give families the message: “Your child, and by default, you don’t belong here.” Families don’t need more reasons to doubt, blame, or shame themselves. And let’s be honest, they don’t need another battle to fight.

We may not have all the answers, but we CAN control the narrative we provide families and the way we support them. We CAN create environments that say: You are seen. You are heard. A narrative that acknowledges both the challenges and the beauty of their journey and lets them know they are not alone.

I’ve seen, time and time again, the power of consistently showing up for families. Through collaboration, listening, and validating the challenges they face, we open up possibilities for real growth. I’m continually reminded of the profound impact we can have when we approach families with empathy, curiosity, and partnership.

This is especially true for the families of vulnerable children—the ones whose children struggle with self-regulation, the ones with children in crisis, trying to support them in the only ways they know how. These are the families who need us to see their child differently, and to respond with compassion rather than judgment. When we support the family, we support the child.

Throughout my career, I’ve had the privilege of learning from many children. I have always seen their strengths and the beauty in how they see the world. I’ve known that they and their families are doing their absolute best with the support they have. But it’s hard when I’m reminded how the system often pushes us to view children through a deficit lens—focusing on what’s hard, on what’s not working, on what they lack.

And yes, I know the system doesn’t always set up children, families, or educators for success. We still have a long way to go in creating truly inclusive systems that are effective and sustainable, where everyone has the support they need to thrive. True, lasting change requires more than individual efforts. We need systems that are inclusive, supportive, and sustainable for every child, family, and educator. But while we work toward that broader change, we have the power, right now, to shape the experience for the families in front of us.

We can focus on what’s within our control: the stories we help create.

It can feel overwhelming when the system seems stacked against us. But real change happens in the moments where we rewrite just one story—when we shift the experience for one child, one family.

When we see a child differently, celebrate their strengths, or show a family they aren’t alone, we set off a ripple effect. Small, intentional actions can transform a child’s life and a family’s experience. We may not always see the impact of these actions. But for that family, it becomes part of their story—a moment of hope, belonging, and being truly seen.

Changing the way we approach families changes everything. Let’s rewrite the experiences of children and families through:

Working together: Build genuine partnerships with families.

Creating spaces of belonging: Ensure every family feels welcomed and valued.

Being voices of advocacy: Stand up for what’s right and support every child’s needs.

The choice is ours, one story at a time.