THE FALSE GYAN ON NOT GETTING PERTURBED BY WORDS
Arun Sundar Dhinakaran
Empowering Minds & Personal Finances | Passionate About Sudoku, Yoga, and Continuous Improvement
At some point in our lives, we would have certainly come across this statement/quote – “We should not be perturbed or controlled by words that are spoken at us and get into a self-victimization mode rather move on from that situation”. I always tell people close to me that quotes & proverbs are always nice to read but the true tough task is to implement them in the reality of life. But why is it so tough or difficult when the meaning or lessons from those are so SIMPLE – the answer is that simple doesn’t equate to easy. To say that something is so simple requires a lot of practice in that activity.
When we relate this with the earlier quote on not getting perturbed by the words spoken at us, requires a great deal of emotional intelligence that should enable one with the superpower of demarcating the person, the words and the circumstances in which those words are uttered without having any kind of prejudice. As I mentioned earlier it might look simpler on paper but to follow it in any of our real-life circumstances will give us the exhaustion of a half-marathon. Why? Because words have that immense power to paralyse a person both psychologically as well as physically. This was told 2000 years ago in a Thamizh literature Thirukkural by Thiruvalluvar –
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which means that a wound caused by a fire accident will heal over time but not the wound which was caused by the words spoken to us.
In the corporate jungle, we always confuse ourselves with the concept of survival of the fittest and often see people coming up with confusing theories/gyan like move on and don’t get disturbed by words vomited on you rather wash away the memory dirt and move on. But a close and true introspection is just the opposite of this – as human beings we all are emotional creatures with no control over our emotions – a person might be truly good at controlling emotions (e.g., at the workplace) but elsewhere he/she might be a failure.
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The reason I mentioned workplace is because of the fact that all of us are so consciously involved in putting that effort to make sure that we radiate only positivity and no minuscule amount of negativity is even spilt out from our character but in reality, known to ourselves that’s not TRUE. We all have that face of ourselves that is known only to us. But why are we wearing such masks? Purely because the natural human instinct is to impress people and not express ourselves. We always need to strive to express ourselves pragmatically in any situation and not rely on impressing people.
There are a lot of management theories advising people not to react but to respond to situations, whatever might be the reflex mode we need to more careful in flexing our boneless tongue and choosing words wisely as even though it doesn’t have bones, it has all the mighty superpower to break the opposite person’s strongest bones – how much calcium surplus that person might be.?
I would like to conclude by mentioning that interaction with our fellow human beings is the key to our success in building relationships be it in whatever domain, even animals interact with each other in their own language. Not every circumstance needs to be responded to with words, SILENCE IS AN ART THAT COMES WITH HARD PRACTICE, but most of us blame the circumstances for uttering those words and inadvertently become a circumstantial prisoner and offer gyan on emotional intelligence of not getting disturbed by words spoken at us. So, let’s start to interact positively no matter what the circumstances we dwell in and spread positivity through our words or be silent, and let’s stop propagating the false agenda of not getting perturbed by the words spoken at us giving false hopes to people around us.?