Falling In Love With Yourself

Happiness. It’s something we all aspire to, yet it can feel elusive, wrapped up in external achievements, relationships, or material success. But what if the key was something much simpler, much closer? Robert Morley said it beautifully: “To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”

Take a moment to sit with that. When was the last time you felt truly in love with yourself? Not just the occasional pat on the back or a fleeting moment of pride, but deep, unwavering self-appreciation—the kind that leaves you glowing from the inside out?

For many, that glow feels out of reach. It’s not that you’re unhappy. You’re accomplished and your life is filled with moments of joy. But often, there’s a niggling sense of something missing. That missing piece often comes back to self-love.

Why Self-Love Feels Elusive

Society does a fantastic job of convincing us that loving ourselves is selfish, indulgent, or vain. Women especially are taught to prioritise others, to shrink ourselves, to play nice. And then, somewhere along the way, we internalise the idea that we’re not enough—not thin enough, successful enough, youthful enough.

Sound familiar? Maybe you’re part of the sandwich generation, juggling responsibilities for ageing parents and adult children. You’ve spent years pouring energy into everyone else, often leaving your own needs at the bottom of the pile. The result? A quiet disconnection from the person you used to be and the person you’re becoming.

I see it reflected in wardrobes all the time. You open the door and see clothes that no longer fit—not just physically, but emotionally. Those trousers that once made you feel amazing but now feel snug. The dress you’re saving for when you’ve lost that “last stone.” Or worse, the sea of black that’s become your go-to because it’s safe. That’s not self-love. That’s surviving.

And the thing is, surviving isn’t enough. You deserve to thrive. Thriving means waking up in the morning and feeling excited to step into your day because you’re aligned with who you are. It means wearing clothes that don’t just fit your body but also your soul—clothes that celebrate you rather than conceal you.

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The Journey to Self-Love

Falling in love with yourself isn’t about perfection. It’s not about hitting a certain dress size or following the latest trend. It’s about alignment—letting your outer self-reflect the incredible, multi-faceted person you are inside.

I touch on my journey with depression in my book Project FAB! No More Making Do. ?I also speak of thinking I was fat long before I actually did become obese. ?I shared my “Treble F” phase: Fat, Fed Up, and Frumpy. I was stuck in a cycle of hiding behind baggy clothes and avoiding the mirror. It wasn’t until I started dressing with intention—choosing clothes that celebrated who I was instead of apologising for it—that everything changed. It wasn’t just my wardrobe that transformed, it was my confidence, my energy, my whole outlook.

I also share my thoughts on how having a lifelong disability and limp affected my self-worth to a degree. I made do in lots of ways because of all of these things.

After hitting my lowest point ever in 2013, I started to reconnect with myself. I dug deep, found that I was still in there and I gave myself permission to became more me again. As I regained my confidence and self-worth, I started to feel more comfortable saying no and speaking my truth.

I’m in such a different place to where I was all those years ago and that is to be celebrated daily.

I’ve stopped wearing too many hats. I follow my intuition and the rose tinted glasses are off. I have boundaries in place that mean I’m happier in myself. I no longer wear the weight of other people’s opinions. I’m still work in progress and I’m sure I’ll keep evolving. As each day goes by, I feel more aligned than ever. It feels good.

And that’s the beauty of it, the journey to self-love isn’t a straight line. It’s a winding path filled with discoveries about yourself, moments of clarity, and, yes, setbacks. But each step forward builds momentum. It’s in the small decisions—like choosing to wear colour instead of hiding in black or deciding to let go of that “someday I’ll fit back into it” dress—that self-love takes root. My mission now is to help others do the same, which is all part of the LISA Method.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Love

Self-love doesn’t happen overnight, but small, intentional steps can make a world of difference. Here are three ways to start:

1. Audit Your Wardrobe Take a long, hard look at your clothes. Does your wardrobe reflect the person you are today—or the person you were five, ten, twenty years ago? Let go of the “Style Sleepers” that don’t serve you. Trust me, you won’t miss them. Instead, focus on building a collection that feels like you—vibrant, evolving, and authentic.
2. Celebrate Your Wins Create moments that honour you. It could be as simple as wearing a statement piece you love on a regular day or taking time to pamper yourself. You deserve to feel fabulous, not just on special occasions but every single day.

One of my favourite stories is about a woman who rediscovered her love for hats. She started wearing them not just to weddings but to her local coffee shop, and the joy it has brought her is infectious. Small changes like these create ripples of positivity.

1. Dress with Intention Think about how you want to feel when you show up in the world. Creative? Powerful? Approachable? Joyful? Use your clothes to amplify that energy. The right outfit doesn’t just look good, it activates something deeper. It’s the icing on the cake and the cherry on top.

And remember, this is about you—not what anyone else thinks. Dressing for yourself is an act of rebellion against a world that tells you to fit into a mould. It’s an act of self-love.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Love

When you fall in love with yourself, the impact is profound. You stop shrinking into the background and start taking up space unapologetically. You become magnetic—a beacon of confidence and authenticity that draws people in.

One of my clients described it perfectly. After working together, she said, “I feel like me again. But not just the old me. The best version of me.” She now walks into rooms with her head held high, because she is finally aligned with herself. That’s the power of self-love.

And it’s not just about how you feel—it’s about the energy you radiate. People notice when you’re comfortable in your own skin. It changes the way they respond to you. Opportunities seem to appear out of nowhere. You find yourself saying “yes” to things you would’ve shied away from in the past. Self-love is transformative, not just internally but externally too.

Your Next Chapter

Falling in love with yourself isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. It’s the foundation for everything else in your life. And it’s never too late to start. You’ve not come this far to only come this far.

So here’s my question for you - What’s one thing you can do today to show yourself love? Maybe it’s wearing that fancy necklace you save for a special occasions. Maybe it’s booking a Style Strategy Session with me and saying, “I’m ready to feel like me again.” Whatever it is, take that step. Your happiness is waiting create a wardrobe—and a life—that energises, inspires, and empowers you to be unapologetically yourself. Because when you fall in love with yourself, you’re not just happy. You’re radiant.