Falling in Love With Self Part XI d

I am complete…Breathe….

I have all I need…Breathe….

In this moment…I…Am…Complete...Breathe.....

Right here, right now, everything is as it should be…Breathe…

Everything is working out for me…Breathe…

I am complete…Breathe....

I am becoming my best self…Breathe

I am on my path to falling in love with myself…Breathe…

I am complete…Breathe…

Nothing is lacking, nothing is out of place…All is well…Breathe…

I am living the highest expression that is me…Breathe…

I draw motivation not to attain but from who I am…Breathe…

I am more than enough…Breathe…

I am awesome, powerful, and intelligent…Breathe…

I am complete…Breathe

I am enough…I have always been enough…Breathe…

I am complete within and by myself…Breathe…

I am growing daily…Breathe…

I am on my way to becoming the greatest version of myself. For me…Breathe

I am on a journey back to my best self…Breathe…

I’m enjoying every moment of the journey…Breathe….

The journey uplifts me, encourages me, empowers me…Breathe…

This journey is life, is what it means to truly live…Breathe…

I…AM…..Complete…Breathe…..Breathe…..Breathe….

Contemplate these words for a moment then say….

I am falling in love with all that I am…Breathe…

All that I am I love…I am complete…Breathe…..

I love me…and that’s enough…that’s all I need…Breathe….

I may desire more but my love, self-love, is all I need…Breathe…

The journey to falling in love with self is by design exclusive and quite awesome. It’s exclusive to the individual and the path’s unfolding awesome. The path to falling in love with self possesses the priority and value the individual prescribes to their journey. I strongly suggest the greatest priority and value attribution. After all, there is only one you. No one can be a greater version of your person. Be your best self. Allow the world to experience your highest expression as often as humanly possible. The world needs the best version of you, your highest expression. Your contributions and unique offerings are exclusive to your person. Don’t allow anyone to tell you any different. You matter. You are important. There is a purpose for your life.

Let’s continue our journey to falling in love with self. Destiny and Brice exits their cab. Brice is looking around, Destiny has yet to tell him where they will be dining. Destiny walks straight for their restaurant, Cafeteria. Brice follows quickly behind, inside he’s feeling all kinds of good feelings. Brice is glad she said yes and kind of glad she said no at first. She made him work for it, a little, but he could tell she was genuine in her initial declination. This of course, only made him more interested. Destiny looks over her shoulders and see’s a mystique expression on Brice’s face. She wonders to herself what he is thinking. As she walks, her thoughts begin to flow. She asks herself where this is going. Wonders and contemplates what Brice’s person is like.

As they approach the entrance, Brice runs ahead and grabs the door for Destiny. He holds it open and gives her a mischievous smile as she enters the restaurant. She likes him, he’s fun, funny, and a bit goofy. Brice has this slightly naughty and mysterious playfulness to his person. He keeps things light and interesting. Brice requests a table for two. After the hostess lets them know it will be about fifteen minutes, they take a seat in the waiting area. The waiting area is small and somewhat crowded. They grab two empty seats in a corner, the small space forced the two to sit snugly close to each other. In this setting Brice was happy. Destiny totally at ease, she felt comfortable, safe.

Brice casually and playfully throws his arm over Destiny’s shoulder. She playfully looks at him and says, “What? Am I supposed to be your girl now?” Brice responds, “Just getting comfortable that’s all. It’s tight over here and there is no where else to place my arm. You don’t mind do you?” Destiny smiles, “I guess, since there’s no place else. It is kind of tight over here.” They laugh lightly before removing their phones. They make some small talk but mostly sit close and quietly until seated at their table.

Brice is very disarming to Destiny and he feels comfortable around her as well. Brice again moves quickly to grab Destiny’s seat. After making sure she’s seated, he takes his seat. The waiter comes over, shares specials, takes drink order and leaves menus with Destiny and Brice. Brice is the first to speak, “So tell me about yourself. Tell me the good and juicy stuff first. Don’t wait until five years and then lay it on me. Get it out now.” They laugh.

Destiny thinks, then says, “Well I’m from southern California but my family moved a couple times. Not far, still in California, but at one point northern California. My dad and mom both have demanding careers. At first just my dad but then when I turned five and my brother seven my mom advanced in her career as well. It was then that we got a nanny and a lot of early evenings it was just me and my brother with our nanny.” The waiter walks over with their drinks and asks are they ready to take their order. Destiny apologizes, she says, “Sorry, I haven’t looked at the menu.” Brice asks the waiter to give them more time, then says, “Don’t apologize. I’ve got all day. You were saying.”

Destiny looking over the menu, says, “I don’t know why I bother looking. I’m going with my usual, Turkey burger with feta cheese and brussel sprouts.” Brice responds, “Cool. Go on. What were you saying? You can’t just leave me hanging like that.” They laugh. Destiny continues, “As a child though my parents were not there constantly, I never felt an absence of love. I knew my parents were doing what they loved. They were being adults taking care of business for their family. We had our nights. Like Tuesday, most always, we had dinner together as a family. Then watched an episode or two of our favorite show. Sometimes we’d…”

Brice interrupts, “Hold up. Wait a minute. What show? You can’t be leaving out details on me Destiny.” She laughs, “What are you talking about? Oh what was our favorite show?” She laughs and then says, “I’m not telling you. It’s not…anything…it was just kind of our thing. You know our favorite show.” Brice folds his arms, “Destiny why are you holding out on me? I’ll tell you my family’s favorite show but you go first.” Destiny replies, “Why do I have to go first?” “Because you brought it up. And honestly, I really want to know.” Destiny relents, “Okay. Okay, but it’s nothing.”

Brice quickly playfully replies, “Well just say it. What was your family’s favorite show Destiny?” “Jeopardy. Okay? There I said it,” Destiny replies. Brice asks, “Cool. Now was that so hard? Why was that so hard?” Destiny responds, “It wasn’t really. We’d record and watch it together. It was our time of being together, playing, engaging, and I guess challenging each other. You know spending time doing something we all enjoyed. It started out just my dad and mom answering mainly. My brother usually cheering on my mom while I cheered on my dad. Eventually, my brother and I were able to answer as well. We usually spent at least one other night together as a family. Throughout the week, either, my mom or dad would usually be with us one or two of the other evenings.” Their waiter comes and takes their order.

Brice looking on attentively replies, “Sounds like good family time to me. Okay. So ours was not really a show but it’s good.” Destiny busting Brice’s chops a little, “No. You said you would tell me your family’s fav show. Come on. Spill it. I want the name of the show. Time. Day of the week it came on. Duration of show.” As Destiny goes on, she doesn’t allow Brice to get a word in. They laugh. He replies, “Okay but it wasn’t a show. It’s better. I promise. Listen. My dad was on a soft ball team league. My family is really active. We’re all into outdoor activities. Once a week my family and I would go watch my dad’s games. We’d root him on with the other families. Then afterwards, we would usually go out for dinner, and sometimes catch a movie as well. It was our weekly family time together. Like your family, we had other times at home but this was our consistent weekly special time to be a family while celebrating my dad.”

Destiny replies, “Sounds like a lot of fun. Wasn’t it special? I guess, for me, those times are still really special. Though we didn’t have all the time I think many people attribute necessary for healthy families. The time we had was very special, meaningful, and consistent. The time we had counted and honestly I never felt like it wasn’t enough.” Brice responds, “Very special. We rooted and cheered like crazy for my dad. I felt extremely proud seeing my dad on the field doing what he loved. Seeing him do what he loved encouraged me to always go after what I love. My dad gave every game, as he did with everything, his all. Just seeing him try so hard at everything he did and does always made me want to give my pursuits my all. To this day I look up to and admire my dad. As crazy as it may sound, my admiration for my dad is in part because of our time on the field. My dad always would tell my siblings and I to always be true to ourselves. That whatever in life we wanted, to go after it with everything we've got. The thing is though he didn’t just tell us this, he showed us through the way he lived his life.”

Destiny teasingly responds, “So that explains why rude boy will not take no for an answer.” They laugh. Destiny continues, “No seriously I get it. My experiences with my family impacted me in similar fashion. My experiences made me a very independent but compassionate person. I may not love like some people but I am very capable of loving. I don’t need to see the person I’m with every day to feel love or be fulfilled. When time and schedules permit I don’t mind this but I don’t need this to feel love, to be in love. That’s not my love language. I don’t need a man. A boyfriend, partner, husband even, would be great. The thing is though I don’t need a boyfriend, partner, or husband because I don’t love who I am nor the person I’m becoming. I am complete within the the love I have for myself. Since breaking up with my ex…I just…feel like…in it’s time a relationship will happen. So in the meantime I just want to be happy. Does that make sense?”

Brice responds, “Makes perfect sense. I can relate. Actually almost five years ago, I was engaged and I was like crazy in love with my ex. She was great and I don’t want to be rude by talking about her so I’ll be brief. I realized in our relationship a lot about myself, much like I think you’re saying. Like all she wanted in the world was to be Mrs. Brice.” Destiny nods indicating she knows what he means. Brice continues, “As attractive as she was and is that was so not attractive to me. I want a lady who has drive, her own ambitions, goals, dreams, and whatever else she decides. It’s important for me that whoever I’m with has their own identity. You know. Like totally know who they are. I like most want to be desired by who I’m with but I don’t need to be needed. I like a strong woman and I’m not intimidated. I guess what I’m saying is I get it. I get you.” Destiny and Brice pause as they share a smile.

Destiny speaks, “You know, it’s funny you share that. It took me some time to learn these things about myself. It took time to discover what my needs are, my person, and what an eventual long-term, even marriage, relationship would look like for me. It was also in my previous relationship that I discovered these things about myself. Honestly I think I already knew but it was around the time of my ex and my relationship ending that I was forced to admit these things to myself. This is who I am. I love and accept me for the person my experiences has shaped me to become.”

The waiter comes over and brings their food. Brice doesn’t know why but he suggests they make a toast. Brice holding up his glass, says, “Cheers.” “Destiny blushing, smiles, “What are we toasting to?” Brice responds, “Our first date. Hopefully first of many.” Destiny and Brice smile as they lightly touch the tips of their glasses before taking a sip. To be continued…..

A part of falling in love with self is getting to know yourself. Getting to know and understand what your needs are, understanding your love language. Gary Chapman wrote a book called, ‘The Five Love Languages'. This book is a phenomenal read and we need this information, we need love and self-love, in relationships.

Here is my theory:

Healthy People = Healthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships = Healthy Communities

Healthy Communities = Healthy Cities

Healthy Cities = Healthy States

Healthy States = Healthy Countries

Healthy Countries = Healthy World

One of the primary goals for falling in love with self is to share love with others, the world. Knowing your person, needs, and your love language makes sharing love with others a smoother adventure.

The journey to falling in love with self is an amazing journey. While on this journey be sure to get to know your person, fully. Don’t assume those you are with or have been with know you, your person, or will get to know you/your person. Share your discoveries of your person with those you love and with those close to you. This will enable them, to love you and even fall in love, with your person even more.

There is no level of neediness or the lack of neediness that is good or bad. It can’t be, not if it’s you or the person you love. It’s simply who you or who they are. Embrace wherever your person falls in the spectrum of neediness, love, the need to be needed, or other. Be kind and honest with yourself and others about who you truly are. This will further empower your person and equip your relationship(s) for success.