Falling in Love With Self Part XI b.

Who says differences has to separate? Think of the pieces to a puzzle. For one the puzzle is not complete until all the pieces within the puzzle have been successfully placed in their unique and correct place. Secondly and even more important each piece to the puzzle has a unique position in the puzzle. Not one piece can fit within the space of another. Though they are all different in shape, size, and design they all serve the ultimate purpose in completing the puzzle. Such is life. Just as in puzzles differences are what connects people not what separates them from others. Individual’s uniqueness is what adds value to the collective making the puzzle that is life complete.

For part XI, I wanted to create unique characters who were not in need of love but found love. A set of unique characters actively on the journey to falling in love with themselves. Characters who are enjoying their human experience and essentially allowing themselves to be done. In addition, to in a sense highlight how contrast can be, is, beauty when viewed through the proper lens. In this post we are using a biracial couple. Though, we will discover uniqueness and differences in varying ways. As we know couples of similar or same race can experience equal levels of contrast in various ways.

I think about my life. It was during my early twenties that a friend from Columbia shared with me his method of negotiating higher salary and on-boarding package. An older black creepy guy on my first real job, that was a real ladies man, that taught me the importance of making a lady feel comfortable. A white female manager that taught me my job wasn’t done until I’ve developed a team that runs effectively with or without me. That my job was not done until I’ve essentially worked my way out of a job. A black female manager who taught me how to manage large operations or have them manage me. She taught me the process of staying 5 steps ahead and then some. A brilliant white female professor that relentless challenged myself and class way of thinking. A goofy but brilliant white male professor who walked us through discoveries of business management practices. I could go on and on and on….

Then I think of my core group of friends throughout life and this just happened. I didn’t go out and plan it this way, it just happened. Didn’t realize it until much later but they were always very diverse groups. My immediate group of friends, post divorce, myself, a bi-racial, and calm Italian New Yorker. My bi-racial friend, was a top sale-mans, who could literally sale ice to a fire place. My Italian friend, sales manager, was always calm and cool. It was only one time that I saw him angry and it was then that I was reminded he was truly 100% Italian. I thought he was going to literally rip the steering wheel out of the drive shaft of his car. I don’t know if it was that I never saw him angry outside of that one time or that he was really just that angry. His girlfriend had just broke up with him several months earlier and now she was engaged to the next guy she had dated. You know that movie? Yes, that was his story. Every girl he broke up with married the next guy she dated, true story.

Then after relocating my next group of friends. All incredibly brilliant, incredibly brilliant, but in varying fields of study. Three gay, one bi, and one straight. All diverse in ethnicity Indian, Latin, Slovakian, and myself. I can tell stories about our experiences for weeks, literally. From sitting around being nerds discussing whatever topic(s). To being out on the town, travel, beach, library, coffee shop, house parties, day parties, or just in the house hanging out. First dates, break ups…you name it we experienced it. And this is just two group of friends I’ve been fortunate to have throughout the different stages of my human experience.

My point is when considering all the different meaningful experiences I was fortunate to share with such different but beautiful people. The way in which these experiences impacted my life. The exposure and impact of the experiences, education, viewpoints, dialogue, and expression are all apart of the person I’m becoming. I can’t be 100% certain but I would be hard pressed to believe I would have gained the same level of impact, exposure, and experience had I allowed our differences to prevent me from engaging each of them in meaningful ways. The beauty of uniqueness and differences enriches the human experience in tremendously expansive and profound ways. I digress….

Let’s continue our discovery of falling in love with self. Now genuinely interested Destiny asks, “Where are you from?” Brice with a look as if to say duh, responds, “Barbados. Of course.” Destiny gives Brice a smirk and cocks her head to the side as she smiles and plays with her hair. He responds, “Oh. You ask where I’m from. I thought you asked where I was going.” Destiny claps as she laughs. Brice was doing a great job connecting as was the norm. He responds, “I’m from a small town outside of Des Moines, Iowa. Where I grew up playing in what is known as Pappajohn Sculpture Park.” Destiny laughs, “Really? Pappajohn as in the pizza, park?”

Brice laughs, “Yes. I know. I get that a lot. We didn’t have pizza but it was still a lot of fun. I loved it there. It wasn’t just about playing. I’m kind of an outdoors type of guy. Going to take some getting used to living here in an urban jungle.” Destiny smiles and replies, “Not exactly. There’s Central Park and smaller parks throughout the city.” Brice responds, “Oh yeah? Maybe, you can show me around sometime. I’m still kind of new. Just over six months since I came to town.” Destiny smiling really big inside but not making it apparent outwardly. Not really sure why she is saying what she says, hesitantly responds, “I guess I can do that.” After her response she takes personal awareness of her inability to any longer say no to Brice’s interest in going out. It feels right, she decides to go with it and allow their experience to flow.

They continue getting to know each other. They are getting ready to go back inside when Brice hands Destiny his phone. Brice’s phone is open to a blank contact with the cursor in the name column. Destiny looks up at Brice in a sarcastic manner and says, “Did you want to ask me for my number or something.” Brice says in a cocky but flirtatious manner, “Yeah. Just gone on and put your digits right there. I want it all. Name, phone number, email, birth date, nick name.” Destiny laughs as she keys in her information. She says, “You better be glad I’m in a good mood tonight.” Brice puts his hand on his chin, kind of looks up, and says, “And I wonder why is that?” They laugh. As Destiny keys in her information Brice studies her silhouette. Brice gets kind of jittery inside which hadn’t happened since high school.

Brice, Destiny, Chloe, James, Xiaoli, and Justin head back out to the dance floor. Brice and Destiny make plans to meetup the following day around noon. Then Destiny and her friends head back to campus. Brice, James, and Justin head out to wait for their Lyft. James, as Justin looks on, speaking to Brice, says, “Hey. Did I see you just make plans with baby Rihanna? You ok?” Brice responds, “Dude. I’m great. Did you see her? She’s smart, sexy, and a lady.”

Justin chimes in, “What about I’m not getting serious until I’m 30?” James looking on, him and Justin gives each other a high five as they bust Brice’s chops. Brice responds, “Look, I’m not getting married or anything. I know what I said but I don’t know. I think I could like her.” James and Justin bust out laughing. James mocks Brice, “I think I could like her.” Justin asks, “Dude. What's that supposed to mean? Either you like her or you don’t. Just admit it man. You wasn’t planning on it but you’re into baby Rihanna.” Brice puts up his hands, “Destiny. That’s her name and yeah. Like I said I think I like her. I admit I might be a little into her but calm down. It’s just a date.”

The next morning Brice texts Destiny and lets her know to dress really warm as they would be outside the entirety of the first several hours of their first date. She smiles when she reads first date. She responds “ok” as she heads out to the gym. Destiny wonders in her mind what they would possibly do for several hours outside. It was early December, cold, and kind of windy. The only thing she could think of was a walk in Central Park but even that shouldn’t take several hours.

Destiny arrives to find Brice waiting with knee and elbow pads. Brice hands them to her. As she takes them she gives him a strange look and begins to shake her head no. Brice see’s the apprehension in her eyes. He smiles and nods his head yes. She laughs and asks, “What are these for?” Brice insists, he says, “Come on. Trust me. Just put them on. It’s going to be a lot of fun.” Destiny hesitates, “What’s going to be a lot of fun?” At this point she hasn’t put it together that they are about to go ice skating. Brice asks, “Do you trust me?” She says, “Whatever.” They laugh as she put the elbow and knee pads on. Brice takes her by the hand and walks her just over two blocks, when the ice skating ring comes into view. Destiny freezes and tenses up.

Destiny says to Brice, “No. I’m sorry. I can’t. I mean. I’ve never. I’m sorry.” Brice grabs her by her shoulders pulls her in close and says, “Trust me. It’s going to be a lot fun. I got you.” To be continued….