Falling in Love With Self Part IX

Change of plans we will not be concluding with this post. The poem, “Creations of Love”, was not referenced to an individual but people and not of things that take place in the human paradigm but the essence paradigm.

The presence of one thing is simply indicative of the absence of another. With this understanding, as long as hate is present towards my work I gratefully give thanks to contrast as the navigational genius it is and will continue to introduce love, at least in my human experience. The presence of divisiveness, I will continue to introduce messaging of unity, at least in my human experience. With no focus on what is but what can be; little to no focus on who we are but focused on who we can become; little focus on where we are but for the most part exclusive focus on where we are going. Forward.

This is my social space. I have strategically and specifically established this, my social space, as a place of learning and not demonizing of any kind. When I use an example it is for clarity. Clarity. A great deal of the feedback that I received when I first started was that the average person’s reading and comprehension is much lower than the text within my post. For this reason I purposely decided not to enable them to stay where they are by dumbing down my writing but instead to add foot notes, examples, and stories for clarity.

The most recent example I used only took up less than 2% of my discovery. I specifically chose the example because of a Ted Talk I had saw several months ago with a large audience on the same subject matter, which was the plight of the justice system on men of color. The same subject matter of the EXAMPLE I chose BUT NOT the subject matter of my DISCOVERY.

There was not a dry eye in the crowd of the mostly white audience. Even the speaker who was also white was very emotional. At the end of the talk the woman received a standing ovation. For this reason, when I went to pool an example, exclusively for clarity, my mind went to this Ted talk. To me, the audiences’ response indicated this well documented and thoroughly discussed topic would be a great example to provide clarity.

We must understand that anytime, anytime, doesn’t matter the subject, anytime the narrative is geared towards race relations when that in fact is not the subject matter, the end goal is always to divide. Always!!! This was an attempt to take away from the message of the discovery, which was UNITY, by solely making the narrative about the example which was less than 2% of the discovery. You may say, Thomas why didn’t you say so? And my response is why should I have to? Why should I have to give a disclaimer? The lady didn’t give a disclaimer before she began her talk. Why should I have to?

Unfortunately, in this climate, division among people, weakens the people. Fortunately, but only if we seize this moment, fortunately, in this climate, unity among people, strengthens the people. At this critical time who do we want to hold the power over the course of our future? Do we want to give our power away or seize the power people truly hold? The people have the power. The people hold the keys. I digress…

Let’s continue our discovery of falling in love with self. Our species was masterfully created. The day when we truly value our species the demeaning, violence against, or anything adverse towards a single member of our species will become completely repulsive, totally intolerable, and a thing of our past.

When we see ourselves in each other recognizing there is but one identity, humanity, the human species. We will begin to see each other as equitable contributors to our species’ progress. We will see that them as me, we are them, and they are us. That our differences are in our interest only but our oneness in species supersedes our differences. With this mindset, eager to come to the table with regard and respect for each other’s interest; working together to find the middle way with a primary focus on one thing, moving forward together.

We can become a society of people who see the wholeness of our humanity in the wholeness of others’ humanity. We can become a society of people who values our species higher than anything else. A species who see’s our humanity as connected, intertwined, and co-existentially necessary for the progress of humanity.

There are very few things that trouble my heart greater than seeing an a child who is not enthusiastic and eager to learn - this is not innate to our species, it is a product of learned behavior. Similarly seeing adults who’d rather be entertained than consume information. Reason being what sets our species apart - what makes us special is our intelligence.

Human intelligence is a gift, an amazing and spectacular gift. A gift that should be celebrated and cherished. A gift that we should feel honored, privileged, and exceedingly special to have been given. We were given intelligence free of charge; intelligence for the most part comes with the human package. It is my hope that we as a species wholeheartedly with great reverence and appreciation embrace the great gift of intelligence. More on this later.

The origin of emotions are internal; emotions are birthed, fostered, guided, and motivated internally. For this reason we understand value attribution, which is emotionally driven, must originate internally as well.

How do you assess what is worth doing or not doing? What drives your human behavior? What motivates your decision making? Hopefully your answer to these questions is your “why”.

When it comes to your person, health, life, relationships, and engagements what do you value? This question can easily be answered through actions and behavior. No judgement, trust me, we are all on this journey of falling in love with ourselves, together. Falling in love with self is an on-going journey. The value we attribute to our person, health, life, relationships, and engagements is directly reflected in the lives we lead.

The struggle to fall in love with one’s self shifts with the value one attributes to themselves.

Are you your number one priority in your life? Are your children? Your spouse/partner/gf/bf? Career? Goals? Dreams? Wherever we assess the greatest value in our lives is where the vast majority of our actions/behavior will be geared to serve.

Traditionally, the greatest and justifiable culprits for women is children, family, and relationships. The greatest culprits for men, traditionally has been being a good provider for family, power, and money. When an individual falls in love with themselves it has great impact on their behavior, goals, and motivations. Individuals who fall in love with themselves are more core-centered, humanity-focused, and purpose-driven. Love is an emotion that breeds or produces behavior. If there is truly love internally, there will be manifested behavior indicative of love, externally. When an individual falls in love with themselves love pours out of them, not only to those they immediately impact, but into the world.

Children

What if the root cause is not children’s expectations but the expectations adults set for their children? The expectations set informs the behaviors (need base) children adopt. I don’t want to get too heavy into this but think about it. Children (of course there are exceptions) are flexible and understanding unless they are taught to be otherwise. If parent take time to love on and fall in love with self, this will give them more love, patience, and even things like insight, compassion, and understanding, to give to their children.

Relationships

If an individual cares for you, truly loves you, they will give you the space, support, and consideration to take care of yourself. If you have time to love yourself, fall in love with yourself, you will be more present and an overall greater companion in your relationships.

Career/Dreams/Goals

If you’re not whole, complete, and rejuvenated you will be unable to show up your highest self. Loving on and falling in love with yourself prioritizes all these things and more. Prioritizing those things that empower an individual live out their highest expression will by default impact career, dreams, goals, and occupation.

Think about something you really wanted. A degree, certificate, car, girl, husband, or whatever it may be think of the value you placed on whatever it was you desired. How much of yourself did you devote to attaining what you desired? No degree, certificate, car, girlfriend, husband or anything is greater than your well-being, wholeness, and happiness. If you are the greatest asset in your life the greatest value attribution should go to falling in love with yourself.

Your well-being, happiness, physical and emotional health are the greater than all the assets you could ever acquire, combined. This includes relationships, possessions, titles, wealth, status, and class. There is nothing greater than your well-being, happiness, physical and emotional health. These are the greatest assets of all. For this reason you must make your love for self a priority. Not an option but a priority. The ultimate quest must be for your person, emotional well-being, physical health, and happiness.

On the journey to falling in love with self all the difference in the world comes down to where you allocate your value attribution.

We’ve heard it said it time and time again, we can’t be there for others if we are not whole, well, and healthy. How often do we really take this into consideration? How often do we realign the value we attribute to ourselves. If your children, relationships, career, and other is of greater value than yourself continue the path to falling in love with yourself. Falling in love with self must be the number one priority. The effects of falling in love with self are not selfish oriented. You showing up your highest self can never, ever, be selfish.

The essence to take from this post is to place the greatest value, priority, on your person, well-being, future, physical and emotional health through self-love. By prioritizing falling in love with self you will by default prioritize everything and everyone else that matters to you.

Questions:

- If an individual find themselves in a relationship that forces them to constantly compromise themselves, which, themselves or the relationship, should be attributed the greatest value?

- If a professional finds themselves in a career or opportunity that is detrimental to their well-being in any fashion, which, themselves or career, should be attributed the greatest value?

- If an individual finds themselves in a situation that is not complimentary to their well being, which, the situation or themselves, should be attributed the greatest value?

In all cases, whenever facing any of these or similar questions the greatest value should always go to the individuals well-being.

You are incredibly valuable. Your physical and emotional health matters tremendously. Your happiness matters a great deal. Time for you to consume and process information, meditate, enjoy me time, and loving on yourself is of extreme value. You are important. You are all that and a big big big bag of chips. You are the bomb!!! You are fantastically created with phenomenal potential. You were born to be great! You were born to do amazing things. You are able to do some amazing things. But and it’s a big BUT do you realize this? Do you know this within yourself? Is your happiness, emotional well-being, physical health, and self love of value to you?

Fall in love with all that you are, all that you are becoming, and all that you can become!