The fallacy of fear...

Fear is something that impacts all of our lives. By definition it is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes a change in our physical state and ability to think or act.

It crops up time and time again and what's interesting is that it manifests itself not only in response to a present threat, but also in anticipation of something that may occur in the future.

A fear of public speaking:

For many years I had a deep-rooted fear of public speaking. I didn't need to be on stage in front of an audience to feel its effect, the though of a forthcoming speaking engagement would serve to keep me awake all night and result in the same feeling of dread. 

In 2014 having been appointed as Chief Executive of Nottingham Means Business (now Nottingham Partners), I vividly remember standing at the back of the venue at my first lunch about to be introduced, with the fight-or-flight response preparing my body to mobilise its resources to deal with the immediate threat. 

This automatic human response, which was critical in preserving the lives of our ancient ancestors still operates in the same way today. About to step on stage I was unlikely to be physically attacked, but my involuntary physical response in the form of a faster heart beat, increased respiration rate and trembling legs didn't seem to be taking note!

This article is about what I call the fallacy of fear. A fallacy is best described as an idea that many people think is true, but is in fact false. In my example above, my physical response to the situation was a fallacy. My body was preparing me for attack, but the reality was I was very unlikely to be physically attacked no matter how bad my presentation turned out to be. 

The fear that public speaking is difficult to do and that things will go invevitably wrong is an idea that many people think is true. One of the ways I challenged and overcame my fear was by reframing the experience of my physical response from fear to excitement. Both fear and excitement manifest themselves through our bodies in a similar way, but are of course two extremely different situations altogether.

A fear of heights:

I was reminded of the fallacy of fear yesterday by my eldest son, 7-year-old Charlie. As children we come into the world with no preconceptions and with an open mind as to what's possible and what can be achieved. 

Ask a child in primary school what they want to be and they'll come up with 'astronaut', 'football player', or similar. If we're honest, as parents conditioned by the experience of life, we probably see these as unattainable pipe dreams (although are very careful not to communicate this to our children).

I have a fear of heights and arriving at SKY TRAIL, an aerial dual-level adventure, my fight-or-flight mechanism began to kick in. Not wanting to show fear in front of my wife and children, I was extremely relieved when my youngest decided he didn't want to do it, and that my wife would take the role of responsible adult and accompany Charlie. 

It was amazing to watch Charlie on the ropes. After navigating the first level at 12 feet above ground he progressed to the next level at 24 feet, much to my wife's dismay!

I shouted up to him: 'Well done son, but aren't you scared?'

He replied: 'I was at first Daddy, but you get used to it really quickly and I'm fine now.'

The situation Charlie and I found ourselves in was identical, but his beliefs (untainted by previous experience) were very different to mine. What I felt as fear he experienced as excitement.

Reflecting on this raises a number of questions:

1. How much of what we avoid or choose not to do in life is as a direct result of fear?
2. When fear shows up, are we really in danger or do we only perceive we are?
3. What if we pushed through our fear and took the opportunity any way? What could we potentially achieve as a result?

Perhaps fear (unless of course our lives are in immediate danger) is not something to avoid, but instead something we should move toward to grow as individuals. 

How much of our fear is real and how much is anticipatory? Could the benefit of taking action we would normally choose to avoid be far outweighed by the benefit of just getting started?

I learned this lesson through my experience with public speaking and yesterday was an important reminder not to forget. I'll be back to the aerial assault course in the not too distant future. Charlie has shown me what's possible and it's time for me to embrace it.

Fear only has power over us if we choose to give in to it. 

Fear exists in the executive job market:

In the executive job market people regularly face the fallacy of fear at a multitude of different levels. Fear that they're not good enough to get to where they'd like to take their career, the belief that others are better, or fear of the interview and being rejected. 

If this has been your experience, perhaps it's time to change? Reframing fear as excitement and following a proven system for success could open up doors that were previously closed or that you never new existed. 

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