THE FALL SEASON, A TIME OF MELANCHOLY OR ELATION?

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ― Anatole France

Summer officially ended this week for a lot of people and I was struck by how many of us are all experiencing similar things at the same time. Our lives and circumstances are just ‘packaged’ a little differently. 

I am fortunate to work with variety of people that are at different stages of their lives. What I noticed that seemed to be on everyone’s mind were all of the transitions that were happening. Reports from a young mother who had to bring her son to kindergarten for the very first time, a parent of a teenager who now has a driver's license and can take herself to high school every morning, a single mother who had to drop her only son off to college and an adult daughter who just brought her 81 year old mother to live in a memory care community. They all shared the same concerns and fears. They all worried that their loved one wouldn’t make friends, wouldn’t know where to go for help and wondered if they would be okay. They all spoke about feeling sad and sensed a feeling of loss of the way things used to be. They also knew that their life was changing and they weren’t sure how they felt about it.

We have all experienced the bittersweet nature of letting go and saying goodbye. Knowing things will never be quite the same can leave us feeling really sentimental. We may reflect back at other times in our lives that we have had to move on. For some of us whose children are already grown, hearing our friends and co-workers talk about the transition that is happening in their lives can leave us melancholy. All of the milestones that have come and gone and all of the excitement of each transition that we once experienced with our own children are now complete. 

There can also be the feeling of excitement and looking forward to future events. Believing that your son or daughter will thrive and grow during their new stage of independence can give great comfort and the feeling of newfound freedom from all of the caregiving that once filled your day. These milestones can also give you a sense of pride and accomplishment. 

How we feel about these life transitions are usually directly tied to our mindset and how we respond to change. So, here is a shout out to everyone this September. To all of the sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, empty nesters and grandparents, you are exactly where you are supposed to be! The next chapter in your life can hold the promise of great things to come and our ability to love and to be loved is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures. 

Hildi Ahee 9/1/19