Fall Into Your Own Schedule
As Autumn approaches the relaxed, too short time of sunshine, patios and vacation days come to an end. Whether we have children or not, back to school triggers us to return to work, develop a more structured schedule and be goal focused. As we get back into the swing of things it is a good time to also consider if we are setting up our daily life in a way that supports and creates the life we actually want to be living. After all, it is the things that we do in each moment of our lives that creates the quality of our lives. We often overlook this fact and fill our time with things that do not really matter in the long run or keep telling ourselves there will be time for the good stuff later resulting in schedules overbooked but unfulfilling. Many complex factors influence how we spend our time and live our lives and for women these can be even more deeply rooted. However, there are steps you can take to live with more freedom, authenticity and intention and Fall is a great time to turn over a new leaf.
Humans are creatures of habit. We easily fall into routines and behaviors that are hard to break. In fact, experts say that up to 90% of our behavior is habit. Habits start young and girls are encouraged to be nice, put others first, and take care of ...well everything. These messages growing up greatly effect our daily lives. We tend to fill our schedule with things that are not really important or meaningful to us out of a sense of obligation or even guilt.
Many women admit they have a hard time saying no, not surprisingly, these same women confess they have difficulty finding time to pursue their own goals and dreams. As we get older there is added pressure to do it all, we can easily fall into the habit of doing far too much, exhausting our energy on others and having little left for ourselves. Let’s face it, we are all so busy we operate on autopilot most of the day, we hardly remember the drive when we arrive due to rushing, distraction and multitasking.
Newton’s Law that an object in motion tends to stay in motion can keep us stuck. We tend to continue to do what we do regardless of if we enjoy it or if it is good for us. It may seem easier to just stay the course but if you find yourself depressed, anxious, restless, bored, angry or dissatisfied these are alarms meant to startle you to take new action. When life does not feel right it likely isn’t right, trust your instincts and chose differently. We usually stay where we are because we believe it is hard to change, while making changes can be difficult, regret is not easy to live with.
Modern America has fostered a culture of accomplishment and busyness that is exhausting at best and undermines our health and happiness. This constant focus and competition to do ever more is pervasive, we can all fall prey to it . This is compounded for women due to gender messages and nurturing natures. We believe others are doing more than we are and judge and compare ourselves with harsh, unforgiving standards. As a result we jump onto a hamster wheel constantly trying to run faster but getting nowhere.
We buy into thinking that our very worth is tied to what we do in our lives rather than who we are in our lives. We may not even realize it but much of what we do day to day is fueled by a desire to be more than we think we are, to be enough. Becoming aware of the influences that shape our routines, fill our schedule and shape our lives offers an opportunity to choose differently.
When we listen to much of what women talk about, fatigue, stress, hectic schedules, frustration, it is apparent that we want a change. What we also hear is the litany of reasons we cannot do anything different and must do it all. You would think each individual woman was the little dutch boy at the damn, I know from experience that is exactly how it feels at times.
Do we want the next part of our lives to be the best part of our lives? If you have read this far my guess is your answer is a resounding yes! We cannot expect to be our best selves if we are acting like our old selves. Having a strategy to make new choices as well as a support system in place will get you on your way to shift thinking and develop new habits that better align with the life you want to create.
Here are some starting tips :
- Make Way: Inventory what you are doing and chose what to let go of to allow room for what you want. Get rid of the should and have to items first. Then move onto the hard choices of work and relationships you remain in that do not serve or honor you.
- Clear your schedule of activities that are unnecessary or can be delegated. If it is not a yes it is a no: If something is not valuable or meaningful to you or someone you dearly love say no.
- Go for it. What do you want? Many of us simply do not know the answer to that question. Reconnect to your dreams, hobbies, passions and long ago goals through self exploration and reflection. Take quiet time to revisit and rekindle what you want to be, do and have in your life. Clarify and set your goals.
- Trust how you feel to lead you to what you want. Emotion and intuition serves as a terrific guide and women usually have these in spades. Learn to trust how you feel. Be confident that what is right for you need not be right to or for anyone else.
- Begin to be and live as the woman you are and want to be now. Make deliberate choices with your time and energy that are in alignment to your goals and values. Make decisions for yourself and be comfortable that as a women you have the prerogative to change your mind whenever or as often as you like. Turn over a new leaf this Fall to reclaim your time and in each moment begin to create the life you want to live.
Julia Skeesick Owner LifeScape Strategies works with clients to define what they want and develop the strategies and confidence to pursue it for more happiness, fulfillment and success personally and professionally. Learn more https://www.lifescapestrategies.com/Meet-Julia
The Fall Women’s Retreat is a great place to get started October 16 info