Fake it .. until it comes naturally

Providing feedback is not always easy, especially when it is constructive, and when it has to do with an individual’s personality.

I had a case that was turning in my head for days. I was concerned my feedback could be taken the wrong way, or that I could sound as if I were suggesting the person to lose their authenticity.

I consulted my specific case with a mentor of mine, who is an executive coach, and the answer I got was: “It is very hard, sometimes you cannot change that because it is a very personal trait”.. however, she gave me some ideas as to how to approach the situation.

Meanwhile, two weeks ago my daughter had started a part time customer-facing job. Over the weekend we went out to eat, and I noticed a change in the way she interacted with our waitress. In the past she would answer “Water?” whenever she was asked for something to drink, but now she said “water, please”, looking straight at the waitress’ face.

The waitress left and my daughter asked us proudly: “ did you notice how I looked at her in the eye?” Yes, we said.

Then she continued .. at work I have to say hi to our customers, look at them in the eye and pleasantly ask “what would you like?”. Some customers are really nice, which makes it easy for me to smile, but others are not, and still I put a nice face, then turn around to prepare the order; sometimes I make eye contact with a co-worker and roll my eyes, make the food or drink, and get back to the customer with a smile. So, I fake it! Then I move on.

This gave me an idea on how I could provide my feedback..

You have the passion, make it more visible, turn it up a notch, I said.

Fake it until you make it.. until it comes naturally.