Fake it till you make it?

"Fake it till you make it." I think I first heard this now standard and popular advice from the mouth of Bethenny Frankel on "The Real (actually fake) Housewives of New York City." And as advice goes, it has two virtues. It's short. And it rhymes. Beyond that, not so much.

What's it recommending? I mean, literally. Well, it seems to suggest that pretending to be something you're not, and thereby deceiving others, is a good path to success; or, in other words, inauthenticity is a proper preliminary, by some strange alchemy, to authentic achievement. You've got to jive and lie until you finally rise high. But then, you're a liar, right? And since, as Aristotle told us, life is a tissue of habits, there's an unfortunately implication: Once a pretender, you're always a pretender. And that's a real danger.

I get it, though. These insouciant masters of media manipulation and self help adages have really wanted to tell us to be brave and bold, and to give ourselves a measure of confidence or even the energy of charisma before we've grown into such spiritual states the natural and longer way. And in fact, great people in many fields, not just at the outset of their careers, but well into their own mastery, often still have to play mind games with themselves in tough situations to muster the inner resources they need to get through big challenges. We do have to work on our confidence, and let the ideas and goals we have committed to generate an inner unbeatable passion that just will not quit. We often have to envision success before there is any success. And if we do so successfully, well, then, there's at least that success to build on.

But lying? Pretending? Deceiving? Sure, people do it all the time. It's all too common. But is it the path to real and sustainable accomplishment, or any worthy excellence? The great philosophers say no. And I have to agree. It's one thing to lean forward, to "walk in like you own the place," as my father liked to say, and honestly to promise hard work and results beyond anything our past history may be able to prove. But integrity matters. Transparency is important. There's always a way to be honest and confident, even positively aggressive in the best sense. You can move forward and build confidence in yourself and others without violating anyone's trust.

So I will never advise anyone to "Fake it till you make it." I will rather counsel setting small goals to lead in the direction of any big dream, using precursive faith along the way, which is just faith that runs ahead of the evidence, and I'll always recommend the hard, long practice that it takes to become great at anything.

But what about the quarterback faking a pass, or the point guard's great head fake? Faking something can work in a wide array of athletic situations and in other game conditions, but only as an authentic tactic allowed by the rules and spirit of the game. In life, the real is greatly preferable, and to a philosopher, The Real Real is best.