Fake, Forced and Flow Success

We all want success. We want to do better than where we are. We want to leave our next generation better off. But in looking at those who have been successful, understanding my own success journey, and then assimilating the success principles, I have come across a few threads. 

We are born where we are born

This one is very interesting to me. I for a long time listened to Grant Cardone, but after trying to implement some of his stuff, I realized his style wasn’t for me. People don’t like pushy. They don’t want to feel pushed into doing something. And, mind you, very few of my sales have come from pushing them into it. 

After interviewing and talking to some of the best agents in our group, it seemed that very few of them really forced their way into success, or beat down the door, if you will. 

They had intangibles, and these things kept coming out: your sphere matters, your personality matters, and how you carry yourself matters.

These top agents we looked at, very few are doing the “models.” Most of them seem to be doing the exact opposite! 

Now I know this sounds deflating, but don’t let it be. I have used it to my advantage. Here are a few ways to see success. 

The 3 Fs 

Fake- Some people I would see doing well, honestly were doing bad things. There was a certain agent at my last brokerage who seemed to really knock the doors down, was hitting home runs all the time! But was eventually asked to leave our brokerage and our board, and other boards. He had “success”, but it was dirty, it was lying, it was fake. 

Don’t be like that. 

Another example of fake success is where you are really pushing and pushing, grinding it out and you start doing questionable behavior that hurts others or your reputation. 

Don’t do that either. 

Forced - This is the next form of success I see. Forcing your way to success does work, and I see people accomplish success this way all the time. But I think the dangers in this form is that is usually is success in one area. Sales. 

In my studies generally speaking, this success will be at the expense of a marriage, a relationship, family, or possibly health. It can precipitate unhappiness down the road. When you are putting in 70 and 80 hours a week, but have no one to enjoy it with, this isn’t a good place to be either. 

Allow others to speak into your life on this. If your family isn’t seeing enough of you, let them tell you. 

When I was really trying to force my way in real estate, it actually caused me to hate it. I was doing too many things that just weren’t my personality or desire. I hired a coach and all they told me to do was make calls. Call, call, call, after call later, real estate wasn’t enjoyable. Yeah, I made a couple sales. But also lost a lot of money to a coach who wasn’t worth it. 

Flow - Now, after studying a lot of great men, a lot of great agents, and talking with my pastor a lot on the topic of success, this is the third success that comes from doing many things right. Or stacking good disciplines on top of each other. 

I remember after interviewing two agents who just crush it, I started to realize Flow is a big thing. They weren’t making call after call, they weren’t hustling at the expense of their family. 

They were just likable, and had the right gift mix, and they did work hard on top of that. 

While their success is less than a formula, there were principles that emerged after talking to them. 

Their sphere is, and was, a large part of their success. When you have family that is in marketing, have a great father who was in sales and is a personal coach, it lends aid to getting a jump at what you do. It’s the old adage, "it is not what you know but who you know.” This is an intangible you have or you don’t; you can’t control where you come from. 

What can you do? 

While you can’t control where you come from, you can control your work ethic, who you surround yourself with, what you eat to fuel your mind and body, and how you use your time, to say a few. 

Work ethic- Get out there and work! Work is a good thing. It is how you serve your fellow man. A person should be working 40 to 60 hours a week. Do prospecting that works for you. Let your sphere know you sell homes. But don’t...don’t! be annoying! We don’t need any more makeup sales people blowing up our Facebook feed. 

Who you surround yourself with- This is big. If you are in sales, and all your friends are losers, go to spheres where they aren’t. Not to say you don’t try to influence your friends, but you are the sum total of your 5 closest relationships, and bad behavior or unsuccessful thinking can be contagious, so be careful. 

What you eat - Put good stuff in your body. Not eating good food, could, and most likely is, reducing your sales. It might affect your energy, personality, thinking, mood, and drive. What we put in our bodies is serious business. Learn more on it. 

Conclusion

While I could go on for hours on this topic. A person should realize, where you start does matter on the road to a successful life, we can’t argue that, and it is not bad. 

But where you end up, is in your control, you can control many things, and while you may not have the perfect mix to be the greatest, you certainly be better than where you are at. 

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