The Fake and the Faithful

Proverbs 20:6 NIV

Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?

Nobody’s perfect.

I have flaws.

You have flaws.

All your favorite people have flaws.

Humility demands that we acknowledge our shortcomings.

Maturity comes with the acceptance of responsibility.

So the claim to be blameless is, at best, immature, and at worst dishonest.

The claim to be faultless is both arrogant and harmful.

The person who emphasizes their own superlatives is usually selling you something.

“Nobody is more honest than me” sounds like the words of a hustler.

“I will never fail you.” is a promise none of us can keep.

There are three key terms in this verse:

“Unfailing”, “Love”, and “Faithful”

A claim to “unfailing love” attempts to take credit for something we cannot, because love never fails (1 Cor. 13:8), but we fail all the time. Love benefits the other at the expense of self. Love sacrifices. Sometimes we meet this standard. Often, however, we don’t. If I promise to put you first 100% of the time, I set you up to be disappointed the first time I am selfish.

The counter to the hustler, here, is not the perfect person. It’s the faithful person. This person, Solomon reminds us, is rare. He or she is hard to find, but not impossible. The question is, even though we will fail, will we be people who strive to keep our word and live by our values? Will we pray for the grace to do the right thing? Will we stop trying to dazzle people with smooth talk and actually walk it? Will we seek to honor our commitments, or will we bounce as soon as we receive a better offer?

Much of our communication is just marketing.

We spend time and energy trying to persuade people of who we are, rather than just living, and letting our behavior speak for itself.

This can represent a number of different scenarios

1. At our best, we are giving people an assurance of something true, a preview of things to come. We say “You can trust me.” And they discover, in time, that they can trust us.
2. Slightly less good is when our communication is aspirational. I say “you can trust me”, and it tells you that this is the kind of person I want to be. I may not get there 100 percent of the time, but I am trying.
3. Further down the line, we communicate something that is occasionally true. On my best days, I am trustworthy. Then there are other days. When I’m happy, I’m great to be around. When I’m angry things go differently…
4. Beneath that is an outright lie. I say “you can trust me”, because you absolutely can’t trust me, and I build my life around fooling people into believing that I’m a person of integrity. I’m a used car salesman telling you that I’m offering you a fantastic deal.
5. At the bottom, I use messaging to gaslight. “You can trust me. I don’t cheat.” Then, when I betray your trust, I will argue it didn’t happen. I didn’t cheat on you, even though you saw me do it. I never promised what you think I did, that I definitely did. And I will use my words about being trustworthy to build a case that you are not only mistaken, but insane. Don’t trust your eyes. Don’t trust your memory. Trust me.

Life is easier when we say what we mean, but it requires us to be willing to reveal the ugly.

Once we do, it obligates us to deal with it.

I pray you speak new truth today.

I pray you receive the serenity to accept the things you cannot change

I pray that you exercise the courage to change the things you can.

I pray that you gain the wisdom to know the difference.

It’s a good day to grow a little more faithful.

(Photo Credit: Liza Summer)