FAIR WINDS & FOLLOWING SEAS: Faithful Reflections on a Military Retirement

It's been more than 5 years since I delivered this retirement speech. I've never been so nervous in my life -- for so many reasons. In hindsight, it’s easy to see the Lord’s hand at work between then and now, but in the moment, I’d be lying if I told you that I had no doubts. It’s therapeutic for me to re-read elements of the story God’s woven together in my life - hopefully this story of His faithfulness is therapeutic for some of you as well:

"To those of you who really know me, it doesn’t come as a surprise to any of you that I’ve chosen to hold my ceremony in a chapel. That said, I feel it’s only fair to those who don’t know me as well, that I send a proverbial ‘shot across the bow’ – it may get a bit ‘churchy’ in this chapel. You won’t offend me, at all, if you decide to move on, but I hope you’ll stay – particularly if you’ve flown in from out of town.

Full disclosure, I didn’t initially want to take part in a retirement ceremony (not my own, at least); I’m completely uncomfortable with the idea of taking center stage, and focusing on myself, or accomplishments I’ve been involved with. Through some gentle prodding of those who love me, we’re here, today – not to celebrate me, but to celebrate the people and events that have contributed to our life to this point. Thank you for joining my family and I on this trip down memory lane. If I know anything about myself, it’s that when it comes to public speaking, I’ll more than likely ramble if I’m off script, and approach light speed if reading through a script; for your sakes, I’ll try to find a happy medium.

While pondering my retirement the other day, it occurred to me that not a single person that I grew up with (Father, Mother, Brothers, etc.) was able to be here, today. Admittedly, at first, I was a bit saddened by this thought, but my sadness was quickly replaced by gratitude when I took a step back and realized that the opposite was, in fact, true – most EVERYone I’d grown up with is in attendance. While I would never discount the impact folks like my mother and brothers had on me, I was FAR from grown when I joined the Navy. FAR from grown when I met and married the love of my life. You all ARE the family I’ve grown up with – for 22 years, you are what I’ve known. Thank you all for taking the time to reflect with me on our share of U.S. Naval history.

Key Moments & Course Corrections

As I thought over these many years, I began to ponder the specific events that led me to this point. There have been several key moments which have marked significant course corrections in my life; listed chronologically, they are –

My mother’s marriage to Terry Dilts, who was charged with making up for years of missing fatherly discipline – I believe he made up for most of it within the first 6 mos – thank you. But what I am most thankful for regarding my mother’s marriage to Terry, is that he took the time to ensure I was introduced to the single greatest influence on my life as a man going forward – Jesus Christ. While the marriage only lasted awhile, my relationship with Christ has lived on, and has colored most every aspect of my life.

In Psalm 68:5, God proclaims Himself ‘a Father to Fatherless’, and that has never been more true than in my life.

In the years leading up to my salvation, I had been involved in some very unsavory types of behavior that, left unattended, would probably have led me to darker places -- probably prison. During those years, when a father was desperately needed, God sent Terry to intervene.

During the crucial high school years, when a father was so desperately needed, and Terry was no longer present to force me away from poor decisions, God did infinitely more and sent Christ to intervene – from that moment on, I would never be ‘Fatherless’ again.

Then came the Navy. When I needed someone to teach me what it meant to be a man of integrity – one who served others with values like ‘Honor’, ‘Courage’, and ‘Commitment’, God sent the Navy. As I grew in the Navy, eventually donning the khaki uniform you see, today, I began to see reflections of the God I’d come to know in many of the lessons we preach to our Sailors as we, in turn, train them to be men and women of integrity. Lessons like:

Humility

Patience

Strength in Adversity

Servant Leadership

Sacrifice

Mentorship (or Discipleship)

While I wouldn’t begin to tell you that the Navy has been an entirely ‘holy’ petri dish (any of you who has served on Submarines knows better), I am certainly able to testify that God can use anyone (or any institution) to accomplish His purpose; with or without the institution’s acknowledgment of His existence.

My next major course correction? The day I met my wife. I can’t list my marriage, because my course correction arrived the moment I saw her sitting there on the quarterdeck at the Defense Language Institute. Although it took her a little while to come around to my way of thinking, she immediately made me want to be a better man.

The births of my children. The idea of fatherhood scared me to death – still does. How in the world was I equipped or qualified to train another human being in ‘the ways of the Force’? You’d be amazed at what a gracious God has left us in Scripture, and how willing our more experienced friends are to share their wisdom.

Lessons Learned:

Like any successful operation, I’d be remiss if I failed to wrap-up with a ‘lessons learned’. Bear with me as I take a few moments to reflect on a few service members who’ve left a lasting impression:

From MSgt Sevening, while assigned to Naval Security Group Activity Kunia, I learned how to follow – not as natural an inclination as you might think considering my firm belief that I had already learned everything there was to learn.

From Senior Chief Dana Steele while serving as Command Investigator for Naval Air Station Fallon, I learned that genuine leadership transcends the rank on your collars.

From the fallout of an ill-timed smart-aleck exchange between my protégé, CTI3 (now LT) Houston Benson, and our Leading Chief Petty Officer, Senior Chief Randy Tillman, I learned what it means to be accountable for the actions (and words) of your people.

From an NROTC Commander who shall remain nameless, I learned that there is no such thing as a bad leader – only leaders from whom you learn ‘what to do’, and leaders from whom you learn ‘what not to do’. They all provide input into our development as leaders, whether we mimic their behaviors, or use them as ‘lessons learned’ is up to us.

From Master Chief Bill Singer, I learned that volume and vulgarity are poor substitutes for calm, concise communication. His even-keeled approach to leadership gave me confidence that I could succeed as a Chief Petty Officer.

From Master Chief (Retired) Rick Berger, I learned that the oft-used phrase ‘Once a Chief, always a Chief’ is 100% accurate. I learned as much about what it means to be ‘the Chief’ from Rick after his alleged retirement, than I did from the majority of the active duty Chiefs I’d encountered before or since.

From Master Chief Dave Gutierrez, I learned the truth of the verse in Proverbs 18:24 that says “…there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proud to know you, Brother.

From Master Chief Pam Bishop, I learned about the value of compassionate leadership – no Chief I’ve served with has ever cared more about the lives of her Sailors. Pam, you were always a tough act to follow, but it was my honor to have followed you into so many assignments throughout the years.

From Senior Chief Travis Bishop, I learned the absolute value of leadership with passionate conviction; if your Sailors can feel that you believe deeply in what you’re preaching, you’ll reach even the most challenging Sailors.

From Master Chief Barry Armstrong, I learned about the merits of empathy over instruction. Barry’s in Korea, so he was unable to be here, but if you ever get a copy of this, Brother, “Your message got through.”

Take-aways:

It would be tough to find any Genuine Chief worth his or her salt who would pass up the opportunity to provide a few nuggets of wisdom for those who have yet to walk this path, so here they are:

1) We all enter life with the same, empty vessel. This vessel is filled with what others pour into us (whether God, your wife, your friends, or your shipmates), and emptied by what we pour into others. The career of a Sailor is no different. As long as we continue to seek out opportunities to allow others to fill our vessels, we’ll always have more to give. The instant you think you’ve arrived, you’ve probably outlived your usefulness to those around you.

2) When it comes to your development as a leader, be you, only better. The pretense of an artificial leadership style is pungent, and your peers and subordinates will smell it from miles away. The influences that have made you successful to this point, will continue to feed your success – add the practices of successful mentors to the core of who you are as a leader, rather than attempting to mimic the core of those you admire.

3) Care for your Sailors as you would your own children. Love and discipline are not mutually exclusive. Praise them loudly and publicly when they’ve earned the praise, hold them accountable and allow them to suffer the consequences of their actions when they’ve earned discipline, and build them back up when they’ve owned their mistakes and are ready to move on – there’s little worse than a spoiled Sailor, but little more impressive than a Sailor who truly grasps that their service is not about them.

Thank Yous – I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will leave somebody out in saying my final thank yous, but I will do my best to hit a large chunk:

God – In each of His roles in my life – Father, Friend, Counselor, Comforter, Rock, and Savior – God has been faithful, even when I have not. Words are insufficient to express my gratitude to a God whose love and forgiveness is not dependent on how ‘good’ I’ve been, but is dependent on how GREAT He is. Thank you.

Beth - On this earth, no force has had a greater impact on the man I am, today, than you, Beth. Without ever receiving or desiring the credit she deserves, she has served behind the scenes to stabilize the foundation of our family. There is no creation like the Navy wife, but with apologies to the dedicated military spouses in the audience, Beth is the best there is. ‘Thank you’ doesn’t even begin to describe my gratitude – I love you, Sweetie. Proverbs 31 asks, “A wife of noble character, who can find her?” Who can find her? Apparently I can.

Hannah - You’re my first child, and you’re the only girl. I thought it was some kind of cruel joke that my first child was a little girl since I’d grown up with nothing but boys. I was terrified that I’d mess you up, somehow, and I guess, since you’re a lot like me, I kinda did. Sorry. I’m so proud of the young woman you’ve become, of your heart for the Lord, and your heart for others. God has BIG things in store for you. As the oldest, our time in the Navy has probably had the greatest impact on your life. I still have vivid images of you trying to bravely hold back tears as I said goodnight for the last time before deploying, again. While some have used these negative experiences as ammunition to feed a sense of victimization by their parents’ service, you’ve never chosen that route; thank you for rising above – your resilience made the unbearable, bearable. I love you, Sweetie. P.S. The house has a much stronger smell of testosterone since you graduated, please come home from time to time to give your poor mom a break.

Carson – I’m so proud of your character. When I look at you, I can’t help but be reminded of how faithful God has been to deliver on His promise to provide wisdom to those who ask for it. While I was concerned about raising a little girl, I was confident in my back-up – Beth could help to train Hannah in the ways of womanhood. For you? I had to learn how to be a father from a patch work of other fathers I’d seen in action, and I was honestly concerned. While I haven’t been able to pass on hunting, fishing, car repair, or carpentry, I see daily evidence that you’ve embraced your Spiritual heritage. You have wisdom beyond your years, a compassionate heart, and a strength of character rarely seen in fully mature men. I love you, Son, and I’m so grateful to have been part of your life.

Logan – What can I say, Son? You have a rare combination of tough and tender. Your willingness to take initiative, combined with your desire to challenge anything that doesn’t make sense, makes you every Chief’s dream, and every Chief’s nightmare at the same time. It has been an absolute joy to watch you grow, and I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am that I’ve been given a chance to be your Dad. I know this much about you, Son – you WILL be a leader. It’s a gift – use it wisely. I love you, Logan!

Mom (Ramona Faust) – You’ve given everything of yourself to make sure we had the opportunity to grow into the men we are today. Thank you.

Marc – You’ve served as Brother by blood, Father-figure, Mentor, Friend, and Brother-in-Arms; no man has had a greater impact on my life, and I thank you. I wish you could be here, today, but I couldn’t be more proud of you as you carry out God’s work in Ecuador. Love ya’, Brother!

Eden – Whether or not this is the life for you, thank you for allowing me to usher you into the Navy and mentor you through the tough times. As beneficial as I hope it’s been for you, it has definitely been even more beneficial for me. I love you, Niece. I’m unspeakably proud of you.

Dave, Travis, Pam & Denver – Thank you for making the trip. ‘Good’ friends come along every once in awhile, but ‘great’ friends are usually once in a lifetime. As evidenced by your willingness to travel such a great distance to share this with us, I’ve been blessed with several ‘great’ friends.

Micah – Thank you for putting on this retirement, and for presenting me in a better light than I deserve. You’re the man.

LCDR Disch – Hands-down, the best Officer I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. Trust and empowerment are powerful motivators, and nobody I’ve worked with has ever wielded them more effectively.

BUPERS-32 Family – If you’d have told me that, as a Senior Chief, I’d be in an office where I was the junior Sailor, I’d have thought you were nuts. Thanks for never making me feel like the ‘Junior Man’ in the office. You all have made this one of the best tours of my career.

PERS-408 Family – Many of the faces have changed, but the mission hasn’t gotten any easier; our communities are better for having you all at the helm. Easy to lose your place in the Navy while serving in that role; hang in there.

The Officers, Chiefs, and White-Hats I’ve been blessed to count as shipmates along the way -- This is a catch-all, but really, this is what it’s all about. Thank you for propping me up when I couldn’t stand on my own, and allowing me to carry your load in return from time-to-time. It’s the people that will cause me to reflect most fondly on my time in the United States Navy -- not the ceremony, not the uniform, not the history, not the great food.

Once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for sharing these moments with us. For the Chiefs in the audience, when things wrap up here, I know you’ve got a place to be – go forth and train the next generation – my feelings will never be hurt if you choose leadership over lunch; for the remainder, if you’re able, please feel free to join us for a small reception immediately following. Thank you all, and may God continue to bless you, your families, and the United States Navy!"