Failure Resume

At Hilton, we’ve created The Check-In – a series that shares perspectives on issues and insights that shape the human experience at work. This month, I wanted to share a piece I previously wrote about a question that challenged me to delve deeper into my experiences and share openly about the failures and lessons that shaped my non-linear career path.

As we enter graduation season, I find myself thinking back to a time a few years ago when I had just wrapped giving my standard career talk to a group of university students, which usually concludes by tying my professional journey in a neat bow. As I opened it up to Q&A, a young man raised his hand. “Thank you for sharing all of this, but could you tell us what the emotional journey was like?” I was floored – no one had ever asked me this, nor had I stepped back to consider such a reflection. I was impressed that a college student would be thinking in this way – he was trying to go deeper and get real with me. So, I took a deep breath and got real with him.

The truth is my career journey started with rejections, setbacks, and lots of “plan B” pursuits. I took a leap working at an engineering startup and had so much fun, even as I was plagued with imposter syndrome. I was waitlisted at the business school that I had my heart set on. I learned how to be a fulfilled and happy working mom by trial and error. The list goes on – you get the picture.

We all have these emotional stories of insecurities, obstacles, and outright failures under our belts, and will likely face them again in our futures. Sharing them more openly is not only cathartic but also helps normalize these moments for those around us. A few things to consider as we reflect on our journeys and plan the paths ahead:

Look back to move forward. We all tend to share our stories without really knowing our stories. Self-reflection can reveal powerful insights that can accelerate our growth and help clarify our next move. The author David Brooks encourages people to know their own “high points, low points, turning points.” From there, extract the insights about yourself that can help widen your perspective and growth.

Use setbacks as fuel. As Arianna Huffington often quotes her mother saying, “Failure is not the opposite of success, it is a steppingstone to success.” Careers are not linear; we will all face unexpected turns, rejection, or setbacks in our lives. The most constructive way to face these moments is by leaning hard into the learning: What are our motivators? What was the weak link? If we gave it our best, what lesson can we take to our next pursuit? What will we do differently?

Put the ‘care’ in career. “Care” is both a noun and a verb – implying not only intent but action. We all have a duty of care towards ourselves and others, and delivering on this duty is most essential when mitigating pain from loss, accelerating recovery from a defeat, and healing from a mistake. Nourish your body, mind, and spirit when facing a low point – this is the time to refuel deeply. Be the one to extend a helping hand, to share your own stories of vulnerability, and to open doors when others need it.

CV (curriculum vitae), often used as a synonym for resume, literally means “the course of one's life.” And yet, this summary has been reduced to a tight exposé of our visible and measurable professional accomplishments alone. In the end, the “course of our lives” is so much more than our titles and achievements – our resume virtues are not what will be shared at our funerals. Our learnings, the people who inspire us, the opportunities we create, and the good we put out in the world are the stories that will ultimately define us.

I ended the university session above by encouraging students to not sacrifice the things that feed their soul for the things that feed their resumes, and I now volunteer my “failure resume” as a more interesting tale on campus visits.

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