Failure is an Option!

It’s sad to think of all the dreams that never became a reality due to the most insidious of fears — the fear of failure.

Chances not taken.

Questions unanswered.

Potential left unfulfilled.

Relationships never formed.

It’s not only sad…it’s downright tragic.

Most people live by the belief that “failure is not an option.” It’s the way we’re raised. It’s how we are conditioned to think from a young age. If you raise your hand and give the wrong answer…you have failed. If you ask a “dumb” question…you have failed. If you didn’t come in first place…you have failed. No wonder we’re so afraid of failure. We’ve been raised to believe that if we haven’t succeeded; we’ve failed. We’re lead to believe that it’s a binary option: you have succeeded or you have failed. And if you have failed, then you should feel bad about it.

So we grow into adulthood dragging behind us the burden of fear of failure. We live limited lives because we are afraid to take a chance.

Afraid that we might fail.

Fear of failure often manifests itself as perfectionism. We wait until the conditions are “perfect” before we start. In most cases, we never end up starting, because the conditions are never perfect. Perfectionism is just a dressed up form of procrastination. And procrastination is a symptom of fear of failure.

In her book “Mindset”, the psychologist Carol Dweck talks of “fixed” and “growth” mindsets. Those with a fixed mindset see their lives through the lens of limitation while those with growth mindsets see their lives in terms of the potential they have. Fear of failure breeds a fixed mindset. It forces us into a life of limitations.

I’m here to propose a different way of thinking about failure. A perspective that will transition you from someone who fears failure to someone who actively seeks it out.

Failure is an option!

It’s not only an option, it’s something we should embrace and actively seek out.

Why should we embrace failure?

• Failure teaches us?— Failure is the ultimate teacher. The classic example: learning to ride a bike. You didn’t just jump on it and peddle on down the road. You fell. You failed. You got back up and tried again. You learned. Your parents may have been there to guide you. But they didn’t teach you. Falling taught you how to ride a bike. You learned through failure.
• Failure helps us grow?— When you embrace failure, you embrace a growth mindset. If you sit on the sideline and never take a chance because of fear of failure; you will never grow. You will be stagnant…always the same.
• Failure provides us with data?— Failure provides us with much needed data. Data that can be used to improve our future efforts. If you fall short of your desired outcome, approach it like a scientist. Be neutral. Be objective. Use the results as data to course correct.
• Failure breeds success?— I won’t bore you with the whole story of how Thomas Edison failed a thousand times before he invented the first light bulb (oops, too late). But look, it’s true; every success is a product of it’s previous failures. Nobody accomplishes anything significant on the first attempt. You need repetition. You need iteration. You need to see what doesn’t work to discover what does works.

Even after you understand the reasons why failing is something you should embrace, it’s still hard to move past your fear of failure.

Here’s 3 ways you can start pushing through that fear and realize the benefits of failing.

• Get Started?— What are you procrastinating on? It is because you are waiting until you are ready? Gather the minimal amount of information you need…and go. The failures you experience along the way, big and small, will teach you more than any studying or preparation will. Don’t be reckless, but stop waiting for conditions to be perfect.
• Practice Makes Perfect?— Is there something you aren’t doing (but want to do) because you failed at it once? Give it another shot. get back on the horse and try it again. Consider your first (and future) failure practice on your path to success.
• Change Your Perspective?— Failure looks less like failure when you look at it from a different perspective. The next time you don’t achieve the results you were hoping for, resist the temptation to consider it a failure. Take a look at it from a different perspective. As yourself: “What did I learn from this?” Collect data. Learn from it. And give it another shot.

If you’ve been holding back on trying something because you fear you may fail, I’m giving you permission to take a chance.

Failure is an option. As a matter of fact, it’s a great option. It’s the only option if you want to succeed.

So…

Get out there and fail spectacularly!