Failure is not fatal. Your mindset around failure is.

Over my 19 years in the industry and its lessons, I have noticed the growing trend of catchphrases around failure and how its tied to company and individual culture such as "Fail fast" and "failing forward". This post is about focusing on the nuanced yet definitive distinction that failure is OK; Failing however is not.

I came from a cultural upbringing where failure is NOT success and failure is equated to career/personal disaster. This is primarily due to two key aspects. First, the education system historically in India promoted engineering and medical studies but not other lateral studies. As a culture where societal value is given utmost importance, people are conditioned to focus on outside perspective versus introspective "feel-good" factor. Secondly, irrespective of culture, upbringing or geography, success has traditionally been defined by a few awesome outcomes and failure has constituted a catch-all for everything else.

A key missing concept in the above rhetoric is that learning happens in both failure and in success, and it is key to focus on learning in addition to the outcome. We are humans. I would have unrealistic expectations of you if I asked you to not "feel bad" when a failure happens. But, your mindset around a failure will convert adversity to opportunity for personal growth.

Below are 3 quick foundational pillars that I have used to my advantage when faced with a failure to weather the storm.

Success and failure are not binary entities. They always coexist.

As mentioned earlier, my upbringing ensured I looked at failure as fatal. It was not. Life went on. I am still here. However, what helped me was shifting my focus from reaction to action. Focusing on action towards a positive outcome versus reacting to the story you are telling yourself reduces self-created noise and BS. You will desensitize yourself from the broken concept that failure and success as binary entities that are at loggerheads. Both are 2 peas in a pod, one just feels sour and the other sweet and a good percentage of it is a placebo effect :).

Failure is feedback

A good friend of mine said this to me recently "Failure is nothing more than an iteration that didn’t work. We have been doing this forever, even though the “failure” term has only recently evolved into the lexicon. And “failure” results in much more than subconscious information. It is active feedback." - Profound!

By pivoting the rhetoric from failure is fatal to failure is feedback, we de-focus from self-judgement and focus on the learning. No one wants or likes to fail. We get that. But when it does happen, the psychological feedback loop and its focus on what we have learned through the process is key to growth and self evolution. The pivot happens when the focus is not only the what went wrong and why but also on the how can we fix this next time when translating that to learning.

Failure is not fatal. Failing IS

This happened to me a few years ago. I was so consumed with the story that I was telling myself, a near alternate reality, that when I failed, it was earth shattering. The signs were always there. I chose not to see them.

I can honestly say I nearly failed. It was not the failure that hurt but the fact that I did not see it coming and did not read any of the signs. So when it did happen, it shook my foundational trust in my own fabric and my judgement.

Failure is not fatal. Failing however is. The key differentiator is the impact of a failure on your definition on self-worth and self-trust. Remember, a single outcome should never have to define you. You are better than that. Choose to learn from the outcome (however subpar) and move forward. Failing is the act of choosing to succumb to a single outcome or associated circumstances.

Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts. - Winston Churchill

Persist. Your mindset around adversity and failure defines your ability to succeed in due time. We all have or will fail. Its our ability to persist through the failure that defines us. Its our focus on growth and constant learning that will let us pass through the darker days and emerge evolved into a better, stronger us.

Remember, failure is just an iteration that did not work, and an opportunity to begin again, with more knowledge.

Other articles by the Author

19 years 19 lessons - a compilation of learnings over 19 years in the industry. 

New to Leadership - Keep it real : A primer for new and experienced leaders on common leadership aspects to consider on your journey.