Failure exists for those who compare themselves with others

Like the most of you me too have lived most of my life comparing myself to others. At first, it was school and sports. But as I got older, I began comparing other metrics: job title, income level, house size, and worldly successes.

I have also discovered there is an infinite number of categories upon which we can compare ourselves and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. Once we begin down that road, we never find an end.

Of course the tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion. Certainly I’m not alone in my experience. But it is a decision that only steals joy from our lives and it is a habit with numerous shortcomings too. Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others. Comparisons, by definition, require metrics. But only a fool believes every good thing can be counted or even measured. Comparisons rob us of precious time. We each get 86,400 seconds each day and using even one to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many.

You are too unique to compare fairly. Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else. You have nothing to gain, but much to lose. For example: your pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion. There is no end to the possible number of comparisons. The habit can never be overcome by attaining success. There will also be something—or someone—else to focus on.

Comparison puts focus on the wrong person. You can control one life—yours. But when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own. Comparisons often result in resentment. Resentment towards others and towards ourselves. Comparisons deprive us of joy.They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives. They only distract from it. Failures in itself are not bad, but people feel bad about them while comparing to others. There can be two reasons why we should not compare ourselves with others:

Only compare the comparable: We get devastated by our failure when we see others succeeding. But are the both comparable? In other words, do you the same experiences/capabilities/privileges/etc that others have? If not, then you cannot compare yourself with others. And as every life is unique, no two individuals can be strictly compared.

And remember always that you’re not the best. Accept this is a fact of life. There always exist a person who is absolutely better than you in all aspects. If you are always comparing yourself with others, only misery is what you’ll get. The sooner we accept this fact, the better. We should strive to live our life in our own unique way, rather than becoming like someone else, which is anyway theoretically impossible. Stay blessed! #kishoreshintre #possesedbywritingspirit