Failure : End Of The Road Or The Beginning

Is there anyone out there who has not failed in life, relationships or career etc. My call out is for all such folks and I want to tell all of them to 'REJOICE'. Yes! you heard it correctly-REJOICE because the failure must tell your core that you are the chosen one to make a new beginning. This is because failure did not kill you but encouraged you to reflect, contemplate and press the restart button.

For those who have not failed (which is unbelievable). The following are the two possible scenarios :-

1. These people do not label events occurring in their life as failure. They prefer to look at it as a minor setback and move ahead.
2. The second possibility(less likely one) is that indeed they haven't really encountered an event which can be termed as failure in their perspective.

In both the above scenarios, these set of people are blessed as they like to look at the bright sunny side of life. Largely all small kids fall under this category.You would have witnessed this up-teem times while watching a kid is play. The kid will face so many falls but he/she does not know what a failure is and therefore gets up after every time he/she encounters a fall to continue playing. However going forward in life this set of people starts getting conditioned by the society & its dogmatic norms so much so that even they feel the pain of failing. This pain may be real or perceived.

The first step in managing this pain is to ACKNOWLEDGE/ACCEPT the situation when one fails. Thereafter then believe that 'this is not the end but a new beginning'. Once these two steps are followed, we are all set to make a new beginning, approach new challenges and new failures :D or who knows grand success. The key is to stay open and move ahead.

What you do when you fall in life/ relationships/ career

It is my personal opinion and observation that we all live our lives governed by the motto 'it will not happen to me'. By 'it', I am referring to an event in one's life. The event evoking such response is a one that is unpleasant in nature. The common responses to such life events are :-

• ??? ???? ???? ?????(Nothing will happen to me)
• ???? ???? (Stay carefree)
• ?????? ?? ?????? ???? ? (Do not take tension)

There are the following two ways to look at it :-

1. Such responses project an easy, carefree and calm demeanour on our part. In case this external appearance matches our sub conscious self then it becomes our second nature. Then this can in-fact keep us guided towards a path that saves us from all misery. To achieve this state, one needs to train his/her mind. That is why we say that 'what we focus on -grows'.
2. Sometimes, these responses reflect a callous attitude which makes one take 'unnecessary risks' that ultimately results in unpleasant outcomes. Life is bland if we do not take risks but those risks need to be 'calculated' & weighed in.

In view of the above, we can conclude that because of our callous approach towards the possible accidents that may occur especially in events when we are not looking at the traffic while crossing Or the breakup that will happen if we do not give the much needed space to our partner Or the job loss that occurs if we do not adhere to the expected deliverables. All these actions become recipe for disaster.

Therefore when we fail , we naturally feel devastated as it is an outcome which was never even expected in wildest of your imagination. I am not saying that one must expect failure or be prepared for it or go looking for it. I am just asking all of us to be aware and 'cross the road with open eyes'. Getting aware will help us especially in a situation where many get frozen while he/she faces failure (it is inevitable) & enable us to react better during trying times.

Please do not expect a failure but do not go looking for it either. Remember the famous hindi phrase '? ??? ???? ??? '? & it is to be avoided.

The following actions needs to be undertaken when one is facing failure in any area of their life:-

1. Acknowledge it and accept it. This will prepare you to respond better to the event in one's life.
2. Rejoice and Remind yourself that this is not the end of the road but a chance for one to begin afresh.

The above mentioned steps will form the core strategy to counter the initial shock that one feels on encountering failure.

The way ahead : What to do when all feels lost

The first two steps mentioned above appear to be easy but they are the toughest. The reason is that we humans do not want to accept the fact that we may have faced failure . Even when we do accept failure , we tend to stay in a zone that is engulfed with sadness. Living in denial allows us to keep having self inflicting pain. Unfortunately in many cases this feeling of denial becomes enjoyable but is dangerous for our well being.

There will also be times during these turmoil where we would feel that all is lost and there is no further hope left. It is during such situations , I get reminded of what British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said & I desire we all learn from it.

Success Is Not Final & Failure Is Not Fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts........(Winston Churchill)

Taking a cue from this great war leader's quote, I cite the following strategic tips that one may employ when one feels all is lost. I feel it can help alleviate our response to life situations:-

a) You have not failed but your project/relationship/career etc has failed

This distinction is needed as we all make the mistake of looking at failure personally. Even the best sportspersons perform badly or lose to a better prepared athlete. This does not mean that he/she is a bad person. It just means that their endeavour(read here sports event) did not result in the win that was expected by all.

b) ??? ???? ?????? | what will people say

The pain of having failed is amplified by the people around us . They are indeed a nuisance. Thus please do not pay any heed to the biggest obstacle in one's success i.e '??? ???? ??????' (what will people say). It is your life, you are the only one who has faced a setback and you are the only one who will come out of it. The people especially the naysayers have no role to play.

c) The final blow | Moving from failure to success

Once we have accepted the event, rejoice that this is a chance for a new beginning and avoid the naysayers. What do we do more? We need to get onto a path which helps us to move from the failure to success. This is only possible if we reflect at the causes of failure and work out the steps of self improvement needed to put us back on a trajectory to win.

All this can become real only when we learn to get up every time , we fall. There is no other way because fall which we will as that is not in our hands but getting up is our duty.

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" - Nelson Mandela.

Wishing you all succeed in your life but in case you face an event of failure/setback then you should know that there is hope as it if offering you a chance to reinvent a better version of yourself.

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