Failure and the Dragon Sword

Written by EWA Member Amy Hanlon-Rodemich (Chief People Officer, GlobalLogic)

On a warm summer night many years ago now, I found myself sitting on the deck with my husband. Bleary-eyed and defeated, I had recently spent four crazy months launching a new service for my then-company and was exhausted. The launch itself went well and the employees seemed to love the service but behind the scenes, it was chaos. Technology issues had cropped up at the 11th hour, staffing issues meant I had to make some tough decisions, and leaders who could not have cared less about the project a month prior were bashing it at every turn. On this summer’s eve, I had just spent my 12th day working 16- hour days to try and get the issues corrected and things back on track. I was deflated. I said to my husband, “I don’t think I can do this. I think I should just quit”.

As I sat there, tears threatening to appear, I heard a sharp laugh to my left and looked up in surprise. My husband had a huge grin on his face and was laughing at me! When he finally stopped, he grinned and said, “Babe, you’re a dragon slayer. Go grab your sword and charge into battle!” I sat there stunned for a while until I realized that he was right. I WAS a dragon slayer. It was tough and thankless, but I went back to work and stabilized things and I am happy to say that the service is still there to this day.

A week after this conversation, FedEx arrived at my doorstep with a shiny sword with a dragon carved into it. I display the sword proudly to remind me that I am a dragon slayer who does not give up. There have been many times over the years when I have experienced self-doubt and each time I do, I get a new sword. I have a collection of about 12 now but it has been a while since I needed one because my view changed dramatically after the original event – but not all at once. It took about 3 years to fully sink in. During that 3 years, I recounted my numerous failings on the project, and in the end, I distilled it all into a key lesson that has changed the way I manage large-scale initiatives: I became a fan of feedback. At the time of the original project, I was the “get stuff done” person who just charged ahead to get a project completed but I had failed to create a change management plan. I overestimated the team’s readiness, understanding, and support for the project. I had not sought their feedback enough. Now, I spend a tremendous amount of time identifying my key stakeholders and ushering them through the change with the most care I can provide, constantly asking for feedback along the way. I no longer consider this project a failure – it is one of my greatest successes because I learned from it and am a better leader because of it.

One of the hardest things for any executive to do is to show vulnerability. We all got to where we are by being credible, reliable, and knowledgeable. To admit that you don’t know something or are over your head is to show weakness and that is not something that many leaders are comfortable doing.

When I began my first executive position, I was surprised by the fact that I would now be spending 90% of my time with the board and executive team talking about finance. Financial acumen is my weakest skill set and I was worried that I would be “found out” and then promptly dismissed for not having the requisite executive profile. However, that did not happen. I grabbed my dragon sword and went about trying to learn. Now, the Exceptional Women Awardees (EWA) network of which I am a part is providing me with a safe space to ask questions and get help on tricky issues that I don’t understand or those which I don’t always feel comfortable talking about with my work colleagues. Not only am I getting mentored by some world-class women C-suite leaders but I have found a community of women who offer acceptance and support as well.

One interview question I now always ask is, “Tell me about your favorite failure”. I enjoy listening to people as they reflect upon the failure and how it made them feel – we can all relate. I don’t care about the failure itself. I care about the response. Did the person deflect blame? Did they take accountability? How did they solve the issue? Did they recover and if so, how? To me, there is no such thing as “failure” anymore. It is merely a lesson learned. Sure, many times it is a very painful lesson, but one that can not only change how you lead but can also inspire others to follow you if you are willing to show vulnerability. People are much more inclined to rally behind authentic leaders who are not afraid to say, “I messed up and I am not sure what to do – please help me” than leaders who always appear under control and unwilling to admit mistakes. I wish for everyone to enjoy major “failures” and to celebrate them. I can recommend some finely-crafted dragon swords for you.