Failure To Communicate

Communicate everything you can to your associates. The more they know, the more they’ll care. Once they care, there’s no stopping them.? – Sam Walton

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Recently, I had a conversation with a team member who seemed reluctant to talk with me. Upon reflection, I realized that the issue was not my communication but how it was received. ?Many might think that clear communication would prevent any confusion, but communication involves more than just words. ?For instance, a colleague might respond positively when I suggest, "Let's discuss this," whereas my wife might perceive the same statement as confrontational, asking, "Why are you raising your voice?" It feels like a situation reminiscent of the movie Cool Hand Luke, where I am Cool Hand Luke and my wife is The Captain, who pushes me down the hill saying, “What we got here is failure to communicate!” ?The difference in response between my colleague and my wife can be attributed to the fact that my colleague does not share the forty years of history my wife and I have. ?My wife’s previous interactions with me lead her to interpret it as the onset of a disagreement.? Therefore, I have learned to modify my tone, wording, and even body language to ensure that I am seeking her opinion and not arguing.? That is how we are able to communicate effectively.

Effective communication is a cornerstone of successful leadership.? As leaders, we are always considering our audience when talking to a group. ?One-on-one conversations with team members are crucial as they drive success.? My point here is not to cater every conversation based on who you are talking with.? It is to ensure our message is well received for better outcomes.? The better it is heard, the greater the likelihood for success.? So, what can we do to ensure that our communication is best heard?? Here are key points to consider when addressing individual personalities.

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Make Clear the Intent

As I had to learn when talking with my wife the key is to make clear what the intent is.? No matter what communication style will work best with an individual, the ability to communicate your intent clearly enhances your chance for success.? You can begin the conversations by saying, “I want to discuss your handling of this situation.”? When it is an individual where you have a high degree of trust, intent rarely needs anything more than the topic before you jump into the discussion.? However, where low trust creates communication barriers, intent might include the conversation's topic, rationale, involvement, and goal.? You would add on to your initial intended statement saying, “We have been getting some negative feedback from customers lately, and with you as the lead, I want to ensure we are doing everything possible to make the customer experience positive going forward.”

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Acknowledge the Feelings

Communication is a two-way street.? Understanding the emotions in a conversation can be challenging but it is an important aspect of a successful conversation.? Being able to adjust your communication on the fly is an acquired skill.? For example, discussing a performance review rationally when the expected rating is lower than they expected requires a level of both empathy and understanding.? You might express it as follows: “I understand this may not align with your expectations, and I value your openness in discussing your thoughts and feelings on this matter.”? Additionally, knowing the individual and being keen on nonverbal cues is essential.? If the person becomes nonresponsive or voice elevates, it is a sign to see if they are in a frame of mind to continue the conversation.? Be flexible to discuss it at another time if they are not in a frame of mind, that would lead to a more productive dialogue.

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Be Curious

Once you have gotten the conversation going and the emotions are in a good place, the dialogue still needs to be an exchange of information and ideas.? A useful concept that I found incredibly helpful for having productive conversations is discussed in the book ‘Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High’ and is referred to as The Pool of Shared Meaning.? This is described as the collection of ideas, feelings, and experiences that are shared between two or more people in a conversation.? To ensure that this pool is filled, we need to be curious throughout the discussion.? A very simple way to show curiosity and encourage dialogue is to ask, “What are your thoughts on this?”? Ensure that you are willing to hear their side even if they may differ from your own.? For individuals that you sense are not on board with what is being shared, you may ask, “What concerns might you have?”? The goal is to ensure all information is shared so that the best decision moving forward is made.

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Plan Forward

So, now that you have stated your intent clearly, gotten the feel they have bought in, and asked questions to ensure that all angles are covered, now we are ready to move forward.? We want to ensure that all the Is are dotted and Ts are crossed.? We want to summarize, 1) what was covered, 2) what decision was agreed upon, and 3) what are the next steps.? Let’s say you are having a conversation with one of your leads regarding their team’s overall efficiency in servicing customers, and the conversation has gone well with an exchange of ideas and an action plan going forward to improve.? Here is what the plan forward conversation might sound like: “Okay.? We have reviewed the team's efficiency for the year. ?We will work with the training department and conduct weekly one-on-one coaching for those not meeting their goals. ?So, we expect immediate improvement by the end of next quarter. ?Does that cover everything?”? You could even consider adding a monthly check-in to make sure they are on course.? It is vital to reach this point so that there is no ambiguity as to what the expectations are going forward.

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As leaders, it is crucial to adapt our communication style to suit individual personalities and build trust within our teams. ?Effective communication is not only about the words we use but also how we convey our message and understand the emotions involved. ?By making our intent clear, acknowledging feelings, being curious, and planning forward, we can ensure that our conversations are productive and lead to positive outcomes. By doing so, we can foster a collaborative environment where everyone feels heard and valued, ultimately driving success and achieving our goals.? Let us be the effective communicators that our teams need and avoid having to be the warden saying to Cool Hand Luke, “What we got here … is failure to communicate.”