Failing to Succeed…

Failing to Succeed...Why How You Define Success Can Make All the Difference

How do you measure success?

So often we use the wrong metrics leaving us feeling like we’ve achieved nothing, even when we may have actually made substantial progress.

When our expectations are out of line with our desired goals or, just plain wrong, we can be left feeling like a failure… making us less likely to try again.

So much of our ability and potential often go unrealized because we judge ourselves against the wrong criteria.

We look around and see what others are doing and achieving without knowing the effort and work it took to get there, let alone if it’s even possible for us.

That was my morning’s epiphany after (my now much-written-about) strength training class.

Regular readers know that I’m missing a few of my original parts and have a few metal bits in their place, along with some related chronic pain.

So, these classes have been a continual reexamination of my expectations.

Comparing what I lift to the people around me, is, well, both irrational and more than just a little bit silly (hmm, perhaps I am getting smarter with age :).

However, none of my limitations means that I shouldn’t strive to push myself to do MY best.

Knowing that each time I make the decision to show up, give my all and not give up is a victory.

And the Award Goes Too…

In recent years there’s been a lot of (I believe) unfair criticism about participation trophies.

Don’t get me wrong, just showing up and getting an award doesn’t serve anyone.

But showing up and giving your all, and continuing to do that, time and time again, despite whatever difficulties you may be going through at the time is, well, kinda badass…if I do say so myself :).

Participating is easy when you’re good at something.

Everybody loves a winner (as long as you’re not a jerk).

They reward you and shower you with accolades.

What’s really hard and truly worthy of praise, is to keep showing up, when things are difficult.

Those days when you have slow or even no progress or you’re just plain bad at it.

Nobody loves you when you don’t do well (except maybe your mom and even then, it’s not guaranteed… (I never said all that therapy worked :)

And yet, it’s in our willingness to keep showing up that resilience is built.

You try.

Little by little you get better…

Or not.

And to be fair, not all things merit effort, but we need to know that somewhere deep inside of us lies the fortitude and willingness to keep going when things get rough.

To paraphrase the great?Teddy Roosevelt quote, what matters is actually getting “in the arena.”

Because even if you fail, at least you failed while “daring greatly”.

This doesn’t mean that you’ll be successful in everything you do or even take chances in every area of your life, but as you build these resilience muscles, you become far more open to trying new things and more adaptable.

Which, in our current reality are some of the most important skills you can develop.

As I’ve said more than once (I’m consistent), the world is changing exponentially.

And you’ll need to change it.

You won’t be perfect.

In fact, it may get messy.

It likely took you years to master the skills that got you to where you are.

…and now, that timeframe to learn is far shorter.

It will likely be uncomfortable.

But if you’re willing to look foolish at times, to acknowledge both your achievements and challenges and to “dare greatly” ... then, no matter what, you’ll always have the ability to succeed.

For Those Who Dare:

1.???????Redefine success:?Don't just focus on what others achieve, base it on your own growth, progress, and the effort you put in. It's about learning, taking risks, and taking a chance.

2.???????Embrace the discomfort:?Learning involves feeling uncomfortable. It's okay not to be great at something right away. Embrace the discomfort, and push through setbacks, that’s where the growth happens.

3.???????Keep it real:?Avoid setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Break your goals into smaller, achievable steps and celebrate each milestone. Adjust your expectations based on what you can realistically accomplish with the time and effort you invest.

4.???????You, only more resilient: Setbacks and mistakes are part of the journey and don't define your worth. Learn from them, adapt your approach, and keep pushing forward.

5.???????Enjoy the journey:?When you’re able to enjoy the progress you make along the way, you’ll find greater fulfillment in the pursuit of mastery.