Failing on purpose?

“I’m not coachable.”

“I can do it by myself.”

“I’m just not good at [insert anything here].”

“These guys are just trying to sell me something.”

Throughout my years as a coach to financial and insurance professionals, I’ve noticed a sad but interesting phenomenon: Some advisors often actually choose failure (or mediocrity) over success—on purpose.

Several years ago, I offered financial advisors and life insurance agents a workshop on client development.? As part of the program, I offered every attendee three one-on-one coaching sessions. ?

Everyone who registered showed up for the all-day workshop, but several chose?not?to take advantage of the individual coaching sessions that came afterward.? I understand that investing in help when you’re not sure you’ll get value for your investment causes people to hesitate.? But the advisors who attended this workshop had?already paid?for the help, and told me they got a lot out of the workshop.

To be fair, a few of the people who didn’t take advantage of the individual coaching?actually?didn’t need more help. ?A couple were already my private clients. ?And I’m guessing that one or two may not have felt that what I was offering them could help them.? I can accept and respect that.

The rest, however, simply chose not to get the help they really needed.? Rather than being vulnerable enough to admit that they needed it and use the private sessions to help them grow, they chose to take their story, that they could do it on their own, to stay on their path to mediocrity…or failure.

I learned recently in a conversation with insurance industry icon Van Mueller, that what I observed is not just my personal experience. Van will spend the day with 300 advisors and end his program by giving them his cell phone number for individual help and telling them to call him.? Out of a group that large, as few as 3 advisors take him up on his offer.

One of my coaches, author Steve Chandler, talks about how people will fight to their deaths to defend a story they’ve made up about themselves (e.g. “I don’t need help…I can do it on my own”, or “I tried getting help, but it didn’t work”, or “These guys are just trying to rope you into a training or coaching program,” etc.) rather than simply showing their vulnerability to someone by?asking?for what they need?and then?following through?to get it.

Sticking to their story is more important than solving the problem.

If you’re one of those advisors whose story is, “I tried everything, but none of it worked,” go ahead and stick to your story…and fail on purpose.?

If, however, you are willing to admit you're not getting the results you want on your own, reach out for what you need. If it feels right, take a calculated risk and invest in it—down to your last borrowed dime if need be. ?I did this for my business and it made all the difference.

If you’re willing to let go of your story and your limiting beliefs, you can extend your arm and reach for a helping hand--Training, mentoring, a coach, someone to do paperwork or marketing.

Message me today and let me help you with one of your challenges—whatever it might be. I won’t try to sell you a coaching program. We’ll talk about that only if you want to.

In the meantime,?keep?REACHING…