Failing is fine

An observation for you. Most people do not like to fail.

Fairly obvious right?

Anyway, the reason I raise this point is a couple of years ago I got into rock climbing, this is a hobby that is highly physical, needs concentration, problem solving abilities and as I discovered requires near enough continuous failure through falling to get better at it.

Now for those of you who are unfamiliar with the world of climbing this does not mean falling from a high height into the abyss below, it means falling from a low height onto a crash mat or a higher height attached to a rope. Well for most of us, there are some people that do take it to the extreme however they are in the minority. There is still risk involved and accidents do unfortunately happen, but it is calculated, and major incidents are fortunately rare.

When climbing with others you realise the people who are exceptionally good tend to be the ones that fail the most, in fact they usually fail a lot more than beginners who are more scared of falling. They start their climbing sessions warming up on routes that most of us find hard making them look easy, then they progress onto something that looks like only a spider could climb and fail again and again.

When they fall there is momentary frustration on their faces, then they smile or laugh and discuss with their fellow climbers what went wrong, refocus, and attempt the climb again.

Usually it’s simple and small adjustments, a minor twist of the hips here, dropping the knee a little lower, hooking with the heel instead of balancing on the toes.

After many attempts they will complete their climb, congratulate themselves with a hint of a smile before moving straight onto the next challenge.??????????

There is usually a method to the failure.

As a beginner, when you begin your rock-climbing journey, you will likely find yourself scared of falling. ?There should be a method to your failure. When trying a new route, it needs to be the right level of difficulty, if you cannot get off the ground you will not be able to practice the movements you need to get better. Conversely if everything you tried to climb or accomplish was easy to complete, like climbing a ladder, then you won’t see improvement in your skills. Neither of these approaches are ideal for skill development yet it is something you see a lot of beginners doing. ?

The approach I apply towards climbing is to try the route between three to six times depending on whether my aim is to try a larger number of routes or climb fewer more difficult routes. If I complete it, then I try and complete it again improving on the first time. For example, I might try and do the same route faster, smoother, more precise. If I can’t complete the route in one go after those attempts, then I move on and will try that route another day. This approach has structure but room for failure, experimentation, and a clear walk away point. ??

This method was not always my approach. Some time ago I reached a point where after a period of rapid progression in my climbing I plateaued and I was not enjoying the hobby anymore. It was starting to feel more like a chore. I was putting too much pressure on myself to succeed every time and I got scared to fail, I made my climbing more conservative. I was unwilling to experiment and try new movement patterns or practice techniques I was not very good at. I was not allowing myself access to the neuroplasticity required to develop, learn, and improve.

I started to realise that during the sessions I went climbing where I found myself tired or had an injury, were the sessions I would climb best. These were the climbs where I had removed unnecessary pressure from myself to succeed, meaning I was being more creative and more willing to try new things. Mentally, I was able to readjust quicker when something did not go right, and I would rationally analyse what I had done instead of just getting angry with myself and sulking like a toddler.

This whole process made me reflect on how I treated other areas of my life particularly, my career and studies. I thought that my fear of failing and worrying would reveal my lack of intelligence, talent, and ability.

This way of thinking has held me back a lot in life since I was quite young.

In my case, it was not my unwillingness to experience new things but a brake on fully committing myself to projects that I find meaningful. University is a good example for me where I could have put a lot more into it but deep down, I worried about what would happen if I really put everything, I had into it, but I still fell short of what I wanted to achieve. Due to my fear of failure, I missed an opportunity to see what I was fully capable of academically.

The good news is recognising and accepting it means I can work on improving my embracing of failure. My reflection led me to appreciate that some of fastest development in my work roles have often come after a setback that left me more open to changing how I do things and less fear of a fall.

Metaphorically, I suppose I was at the bottom and climbing back up again just trying to do it better the next time round. That is not to say you shouldn’t have good standards, when I climb, I still care about completing the route otherwise I would not have the motivation or focus to keep trying. Likewise, at work I like to try different approaches to challenges, but I still care about delivering quality.?

My change in mindset is more focused towards one of trying to understand why the failure occurred and what can be done differently next time. I now see failure as part of the process and no longer look at failure itself as the final result.

Most athletes do not win the championship in their chosen sport the first-time round. When they fail to win, they learn from it, and identify where they can grow and then they start over. Most of them will never be number one but that does not take away from all their great achievements.

In my reading on how to learn and improve my skills I discovered thought provoking resources from Matthew Syed and Andrew Huberman, both of whom are excellent public communicators, in their work they give great examples from scientific experiments and case studies which closely matched my own anecdotal experience of improving my relationship with failure.

In closing, I am looking forward to failing more in the future and I hope you experience many failures you can learn from too.????