"Failing" is all part of the experiment.
Charlotte Gouyette
Coach for music & entertainment leaders to build sustainable careers honouring creativity & well-being. Partnering with innovators for meaningful growth & lasting change—creating fulfillment & a ripple effect that counts
Every day I ask my children “what did you fail at today?”
They are aged 6 & 3! "Too young to be exposed to that way of talking", my parents say caught up with how most of us have been conditioned to view failing.
However, it isn’t as dire as you may think. We get to listen deeply and pay attention, waiting (mostly) patiently whilst the other person is speaking. Often we laugh about the failures together, encourage and comfort each other, see what we learnt from those experiences.
I tell them a story of what my own failures were that day. There’s always more than one and I always share the details…they love it and usually find it hilarious. They also learn about empathy and compassion
We talk about our best bits of the day too and it's important that each question gets equal attention.
I’m modelling for them that life is so much more than the best bits and that we can celebrate and safely share
Life is 50/50.
“Positive” and “Negative” go hand in hand.
I’m considering this daily conversation with my boys as one of the gifts I'm offering to them, and to myself, as a fear of failing
Many entrepreneurs with exceptional businesses that I speak with, and read about, each have some kind of rule for themselves where they actively fail regularly...Sometimes they will take risks without any certainty of the outcome, not carelessly, more so with courage for growth and expansion
It’s not comfortable.
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It’s often uncomfortable.
It’s also not always that big of a deal for them either.
They believe it’s all an experiment...
So is failing even failing?
Much of society’s mentality is about how it can be easy and more comfortable, which seems like it’s setting people up for inevitable failure and disappointment. Ironically it's exactly where they are trying not to be. Striving for a result: an idea of perfection, success and unwavering positivity that doesn’t exist and/or isn’t sustainable.
So...I'm keen to hear from you. What did you fail at recently? & what did you learn from it? Do you have your own rules or approach to failing?
I’ll go first…I just closed my business account for the year and it has doubled in profit in the last year. This is amazing but comes with some large impending costs which I was not completely prepared for. I learned that I’m in a transitional period of growth
I also know that transitions are my jam, it's what I help my clients with the most so I have everything that I need to navigate this for myself.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this so please leave your comments below.
Founder/CEO of Human Milk. Big Picture & Details person, Pro Singer, creative no matter what we face.
1 年I love this topic, and love that we can talk openly about it. What a great daily question for your boys! I remember feeling such deep shame when I was a teenager. The constant fear of being found wanting was embedded by the schooling system, which only ever prepped for individual testing, with one right and one wrong answer, and consulting anyone else in the room was cheating. I'm not sure how that sets any of us up to thrive, but even just for... reality?! It took me the best part of 15 years to begin to ask questions even if I believed them to be daft. To go ahead and try something even if it might not work, and to bring that little ashamed girl along with me to show her that the world doesn't implode if something fails. She's quite content now and is always up for trying seemingly daft things :)