Failed meditator? Three lessons to help you start again...

At the start of 2022, I would have classified myself as a failed meditator. Well, failure was perhaps too strong a word. I was haphazard. The classic on-again, off-again meditator... on the meditation bus for a couple of weeks/months, and then fall off when life got hard/busy. Sound familiar?

• Over the past 10 years I've attended the weekend courses where I've connected with myself, and started meditating, only to stop 2 weeks later because I couldn't focus and got bored.
• I've committed to a yoga practice, enjoyed savasana and not been able to keep meditating afterwards because I felt like I'd had enough 'me' time and needed to get started with the day (kids/work/travel insert excuses/blah etc!)
• I've bought many a short course from well known practitioners (who I love their books) but haven't been able to make it 'stick' because (insert excuse/failed habits!).
• I've bought and tried ALL the apps... headspace, Calm, Insight Timer... filling my head with guided meditation after guided mediation, feeling like my head is filling up a bottle until it's just overflowing.

I think the most frustrating part of this was that the research unequivocally demonstrates - meditation is excellent for our health and wellbeing. There's numerous articles referring to stress reduction, improvement in emotional awareness and wellbeing. And that's before I even get started on the story I was carrying about high performing leaders always meditated before they set off on their day.

So if I couldn't meditate,

was I even a good leader?

Fast forward to today, and I am a consistent meditator. So consistent in fact, that I have immersed myself in meditation studies and become a certified meditation teacher. And I enjoy getting on the cushion (90% of days!). Does this make me a better leader? I'll leave that for others to judge... but I feel it sure as hell makes me a better human and so I'll take that every day of the week.

If you're looking to (re)start meditating, here are three lessons I've have learnt in my journey from 'failed meditator' to 'meditator' that could help you get (re)started on your meditation journey:

1. Think of meditation as an experiment - for all the perfectionists out there, there's no right or wrong way to meditate. There's no 'perfect' meditation. But, it does take some experimentation to find the right sort of meditation that works for you. For the years when I was battling with my mind with concentration and guided meditations I struggled. But when I tried mantra based meditation this year, I found it much easier for my mind to calm. Not every day, but most days. So, if you've tried one type of meditation and it didn't work, maybe you need to try another. I bring the think/feel/do approach to meditation during and after to assess what it's like - mini experiments!
2. The stories you're telling yourself are BS - Whatever story you tell yourself, it's probably BS and you need to call yourself out on it. You know the one. It's the one that you're giving yourself excuses about why you don't want to sit by yourself for 15-20 mins a day. It's also the very reason that you need to sit with yourself. Because on the other side of that sitting is where you will get some peace on whatever you're rumbling with. Don't trust me, trust yourself. That's what meditation is about.
3. Start small, but just start and keep going - Like everything in life, there's no straight line with meditation. But you just need to pick it up and start. Just make a commitment to yourself to find 10 min a day to sit. If you want to try mantra, you can gently repeat a single word (eg. "one") to yourself. Or do a guided meditation. See how you feel afterwards. You will skip days. Some days will feel better than others. Just make the commitment to yourself to keep it going.

My 'why' to start meditating again was triggered because of a health crisis - a severe case of COVID that resulted in me needing some space for breathing and calm. But I've stayed because of the mental clarity and emotional grounding it's provided. I've had days I've missed, (a couple in a row in fact) but I've picked it up quickly again because as soon as I sit back down I feel an internal sense of calm and knowing that this is how I ground back to who I am. It's also important that I've now found a technique (mantra) that works for me and I just use the guided meditations as the quick 'pick me up' when needed.

I'd love to hear how you go on your journey meditating. Does the above work for you? Drop me a note and let me know how you go.

Huge thank you to my meditation teacher Jacqui Lewis who has supported me on my journey this year and my fellow learners who were along for the ride in my teacher journey.

#meditation #mindfullness #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #wellbeing